Pandemonium
by Little Kunai
Summary: this is the crazy, fun sequel to Gaara and Yugure and Angel of Death! So hop on board Tsuru, Jashin and Usagi's crazy train as they walk their own ninja paths
1. A New Team

**Pandemonium**

**Authoress:**

**Hello and welcome to Pandemonium! **

**The fun, crazy and hilarious crossover sequel **

**to Gaara and Yugure and Angel of Death. **

**I decided that instead of writing two separate sequels **

**that I'd mix things up instead! **

**Give a little shake here and a cha cha there **

**pour it out and here we go! **

**(After all they are my OC's ) Enjoy people **

**Little Kunai **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter One**

**A New Team**

Baki walked into the Kazekage's office, wondering what his newest assignment was. Lord Kazekage looked at him thoughtfully.

"Baki you are going to be training a Genin team starting tomorrow." Gaara said after a moment's silence

Baki who had been the Kazekage family's sensei didn't balk at the work. He had trained six teams and was one of the best teachers in Suna. The fact that he had survived Gaara stood as a testament to his patience and intelligence and added fame and notoriety to his resume.

"Yes Lord Kazekage and who will be on my team?" He asked absentmindedly.

"Tsuru…" Gaara began and Baki nodded at the mention of the Kazekage's daughter. "…Jashin and Usagi." Gaara finished.

Baki nearly scowled at the mention of Temari's twins. Suna had never quite forgiven the indignity of Temari's abduction and impregnation by the Akatsuki member Hidan. Though no one but he and the family had known of Temari's betrayal by choosing to stay with the bastard. Temari's citizenship had never been revoked and they were living in-between the neutral borders in River Country. Temari often came home and brought her children to the academy. The Kami twins were just as privately despised as Tsuru was by the adults.

Baki didn't really hate any of them, they weren't bad kids. None of them had had any control over the unique circumstances surrounding them. He was quite proud in fact of the way that Temari, Kankuro and Gaara had turned out in the end. _"In fact," _he told himself, _"compared to teaching the Sand Siblings, these three should be a walk in the park really." _He thought to himself as he began to assess the skills, flaws and personality traits of the three Genin.

First to be considered was Sabaku no Tsuru. Thirteen years old, five foot even. Other then her silky black hair, which fell to the middle of her back, she was Gaara all over again. Slender, with a fine-boned frame, pale green eyes, milky skin, thin mouth.

Personality wise, she was like none of the last Kazekage's children. Where Gaara's green eyes had been dead with pain and bloodlust hidden just behind them, Tsuru's eyes twinkled with mischief. She was always smiling and acted a lot like the prankish tanuki of children's lore rather then the blood-thirsty Shukaku who had been terrorizing their village for generations.

She had been conceived through deception by a twisted plot hatched by the last Mizukage who wanted another half-demon shinobi. The twin of Gaara's wife had been the unwitting victim to conceive and give birth to the child. They had discovered these plans only because the Mizukage's brother had attempted to assassinate the child under the guise of an abduction.

At first the village had been relieved that she was nothing like Gaara or Shukaku. She was a bright, sunny child. But when she got older the village discovered something about her they just didn't like. Stoic, stern, unbending Sunagakure had a prankster in its midst and that's when the general dislike and exasperation began to grow. Tsuru was a prankster, one to rival Naruto; whom Baki suspected secretly encouraged and abetted since her more elaborate pranks often followed on the heels of the newest Hokage's departure.

Baki looked at the papers in his hand; as far as skills went, Tsuru had unusual abilities. Gaara was teaching her to manipulate sand though the sand did not rush to protect her as it did with her father. She was also learning how to manipulate water, which would be useful in survival training drills deep in the desert. She had learned to call on her tanuki kin, though this had been passed off as a summoning jutsu to allay the suspicions of the village council. She carried a gourd like her father, much to Yugure's (who had been hoping to teach her the art of the sword) disappointment.

She had been training with the Waterfall kunoichi in water-based jutsus. She also had a talent for genjutsu due to her tanuki blood. Her taijutsu skills, he noticed were…barely passable. Like the Sand Siblings she preferred to allow other things to do her fighting for her.

Her teachers said that she was intelligent, but always sneaking off and was lazy with her work, her grades were pretty poor. Baki had to teach her to pay attention to the task at hand. Anyone who put that much thought and effort into pranking people could learn to put the same thought and effort into their work.

Next to be considered were the twelve-year old Kami Twins. A year after Tsuru's birth Temari had been captured by Hidan, she had been returned to Sand by an old man, late into her pregnancy and gave birth to a boy and girl inhabited by Jashin, God of Death and Seishin Goddess of Life. The Gods had left the twins' bodies at the age of six to battle for supremacy.

Baki wondered why in the late Kazekage's family, there was at least one in each generation who was possessed with something otherworldly? First Gaara had been forced to bear the Shukaku, Tsuru was half-sand demon and any children she might bear someday would also be part demon. Then Temari's kids had been possessed by Gods. Hopefully if Kankuro ever decided to have any they would escape the fate of their other family members.

Jashin, Temari's firstborn. The boy had lost his wings after the God left his body. He was short, only four foot eleven. His eyes had changed color from pink to purple shortly after his first birthday and his hair was a platinum blonde. Interestingly the boy didn't seem to have the killer instinct of his namesake and former inhabitant. He was something of a coward and wouldn't fight unless he absolutely had too. (Much to Hidan's disgust and Temari's exasperation.)

He preferred to spy on people and judging from the loud complaints Tsuru and Usagi made was a tattletale to boot. He had Kankuro's stocky build. He was shy, quiet and rarely lost his temper. He took after Temari with her cool, analytical skills, rather then Hidan's brash and obnoxious ways. His Taijutsu was nearly non-existent.

Then there was Usagi, Temari's youngest. She was Hidan's little clone as far as Baki was concerned. Her long hair was the same delicate silver and put up in sleek waist-length pigtails. Her eyes were the same pale purple as her brother's. She was loud, foul-mouthed, (much to Sand's dismay) reckless, hotheaded, brash, arrogant and ruthless. She had excellent taijutsu skills(something Suna was not known for) and brandished a single bladed-scythe on a chain, nearly identical to her father's who had forbidden a scythe at all, since she refused to become a Jashinist.

But Kankuro, who never passed up an opportunity to antagonize the former Akatsuki member had had one made for her on her tenth birthday and Temari had relentlessly bullied the priest into teaching her how to wield the weapon properly. Her skill with other weapons were decent, she had no skills in genjutsu, her skill with ninjutsu was lousy and her skills with planning and battle tactics? Nonexistent!

Baki sighed. They were going to need a lot of work.

_Later on that evening…_

Baki was invited to dinner with the family. All the guards had been sent out and much to Baki's irritation who should he hear bitching from the dining room?

"Ugh! It's him!" Baki grumbled as he entered the room to see the foul-mouthed priest who was under a transformation jutsu.

Baki looked around, Temari had her arm around Hidan's waist. Usagi sat next to her father, Jashin had that get-me-out-of-here look. Tsuru and Yugure were busy setting the table, Kankuro was starting to get into it with Hidan and Lord Kazekage had a glazed, faraway look in his eyes, as though he were putting as much distance mentally between himself and his brother-in-law as possible.

"Geeze where've you been?" Usagi piped up loudly. "We've been waiting a half a fuc-"

"Usagi don't you dare finish that sentence or I swear I'll wash your mouth out with soap!" Temari said in a warning tone of voice that could send chills down people's spines.

"Ooh!" Said Tsuru tauntingly as she took her place between her dad and Yugure.

Usagi looked at her mother and smiled. "But daddy says it all the time." She pleaded in a sickeningly sweet tone.

Temari's eyelid ticked at the pitiful excuse and she glared at Hidan who was completely oblivious to the whole affair.

"Maybe I'll wash his mouth out with soap!" She spat coldly.

"Huh?" Said Hidan, clueless as to why Temari was glaring at him so vehemently.

Usagi and Tsuru looked at each other and then at Temari, jaws gaping before both girls burst out into raucous laughter.

Baki couldn't contain the grin at the mental image of Temari sitting Hidan down in a chair like a naughty child and scrubbing his mouth out vigorously with a bar of soap. _"So…" _Baki thought to himself, _"this is what it's going to be like to put up with the little monsters! At least I'll never have a dull moment with them around!"_

Hidan grinned at her and kissed her deeply in an attempt to placate her. Gaara who had been startled back into awareness by the sound of their laughter turned on his most menacing death glare and found himself completely ignored by the priest…just…like…always.

"Hey! Get a room!" Kankuro complained loudly.

Somehow in the middle of frenching Temari, Hidan managed a "Fuck off puppet boy!" Yugure stifled a laugh at that.

Gaara decided that it was time for a change of conversation.

"Tsuru, Jashin and Usagi."

The three of them glanced over at the Kazekage.

"The three of you will report to Baki sensei at five o' clock tomorrow morning."

There were groans from the three Genin.

"Five o' clock!" Said Tsuru looking horrified. "Awww man! How come we gotta get up so early dad?"

"Hey tanuki brat! Don't you know that a ninja rises before the ass-crack of dawn?" Hidan said.

"Can it Hidan! And don't call her tanuki brat!" Yugure growled at the priest.

"He's right Tsuru." Gaara explained to his daughter, "Ninja do get up before-"

"Before the ass-crack of dawn?" Tsuru snickered.

Yugure's lips twitched momentarily with amusement, then she frowned at her niece.

"Watch your mouth Tsuru." She reprimanded as Gaara gave his daughter a mortified look before shooting Hidan a hateful glare.

Hidan burst into laughter.

Baki sighed, this was going to be a long night.

_The next day…_

The next morning Baki began to get ready to meet his team. As he walked towards the Academy he noticed that the other Jounin sensei were giving him pitying looks. Last time he had been stuck with a jinchuuriki. This time he was stuck with a half-demon troublemaker and the offspring of an Akatsuki member.

"What are you doing?" Jashin asked eyeing the simple contraption that his cousin had rigged over the door.

Tsuru giggled. "What's it look like I'm doing?" She asked, filling the bucket with the blue goop that uncle Naruto had given her as a present last time he came to visit Suna.

"Planning another one of your retarded pranks." Jashin said dryly rolling his eyes.

"Then why'd you ask?" Tsuru said nonchalantly, smirking at her cousin's weary sigh.

"I really don't think Baki sensei's gonna fall for something this obvious." Jashin retorted.

"Shit! Hurry up Tsu he's comin'!" Hissed Usagi and together the two climbed out the window and shimmied up the rope.

Baki had just walked into the classroom when his vision went blue…with some sort of fruity smelling goop. He wiped the goop out of his eyes and turned his disgusted glare on a bemused Jashin.

"So you like setting traps do you?" Baki asked coldly.

"No! Wait sensei it wasn't me!" Said Jashin thinking that he was going to get the blame.

Baki turned his head towards the giggling perpetrators hanging outside of the window. Tsuru and Usagi were laughing and pointing and then both began clambering up the rope when their sensei began his ascent up the stairs, vowing revenge on the pastel-eyed troublemakers.

Tsuru slipped and began to fall, what saved her was grabbing on frantically to Usagi, at the same time both girls heard an ominous snapping sound. They shrieked.

There was also raucous laughter below. Team Seventeen had looked up to find Tsuru the class clown clinging desperately to Usagi the school bully; who was clinging desperately to a rope. But that wasn't the funny part.

"Look! Look! I can see Usagi's panties!" Came the shriek of laughter from the one lone girl on Team Seventeen.

"Aggh! The rope is breaking! It can't hold both of us at the same time! Tsuru I'm gonna kill you! Didn't you get a sturdy rope?" Usagi wailed desperately.

Tsuru was sweating, as bit by bit Usagi's skirt was slowly being pulled off. "Well it looked sturdy!" She shouted nervously.

"Looked sturdy?! It looked stur-aghhhh!" She shrieked, blushing brightly, her skirt was now halfway down her knees and Tsuru had grabbed onto her legs as the rope grew thinner, amidst fresh roars of laughter from their rivals who were rolling on the ground clutching their stomachs.

"Great Tsuru! Just great! Now half of Suna can see my freakin underwear!" Usagi roared. "DO something!"

"Whaddya expect me to do? I can't walk on walls!" Tsuru retorted. "Crap the rope!" Snap!

"Use your sand ya retard!" The silver haired girl snarled.

"O-oh! Oh yeah right!" She began to concentrate hard.

"Whoa!" They both screamed….

Baki had just reached the roof when he was greeted with an unusual sight. The force of the sand coming out of the gourd had blasted both girls back up onto the roof like a geyser. It had also blasted Usagi's pale pink skirt past her armpits, trapping her arms. A moment later Tsuru belly flopped on top of her with a yelp of terror.

"What goes around comes around." Jashin sneered as the girls tried desperately to regain their dignity.

Usagi pulled down her skirt, smoothed out her hair and balled her fists. "Ooh! You better start running Tsuru! Cause when I catch you I'm gonna beat you so bad, that even those freak tanuki cousins of yours won't be able to recognize you!"

Tsuru squealed and started to flee.

"STOP!!" Baki yelled, quite unused to it after so long.

After all, he wouldn't have been able to yell like this with his last team. It would've upset Gaara's tenuous hold on his sanity and probably gotten them all killed. "_But then again," _he thought, _"Suna's infamous Sand Siblings wouldn't have been caught dead pulling pranks. Different kids, different team, a good sensei must adapt to the chaos commonly known as Genin." _He reminded himself.

The two of them stopped, Jashin looked mildly amused, Tsuru was grinning sheepishly, Usagi was still scowling. He drew in a deep breath, willing himself to regain his patience, he also made a mental note to ask Hatake how he had dealt with Team Seven while retaining his sanity. Satisfied that he had their attention, he glared at them sternly and said;

"This is _not _how Sand ninja are supposed to act!" Baki continued, now receiving defiant glares from all three Genin. "We _do_ _not _make spectacles of ourselves!" This last was directed specifically towards Tsuru and Usagi. One who giggled and the other who flushed a bright red. "Now let's go to the Kazekage's Tower and pick up our mission for the day."

Their mission was to pick up litter all around Suna. It was hot, irritating uncomfortable work and the three Genin were constantly complaining. Baki ignored their complaints. This was normal, this was to be expected. He'd complained as a Genin about the heat, the wind and the sand blowing in his eyes just like they were doing now. Kankuro had complained, all his Genin teams had complained; but the task kept them from bickering and playing jokes and for that Baki was grateful. After their D-rank mission had been accomplished, Baki divided them into pairs for sparring, he wanted to see his team in action. Usagi was paired with him, Jashin paired with Tsuru.

And really. In the end it was awful! Usagi was the only one who was good at Taijutsu! Jashin wasn't even worth mentioning, other then brains and dodging he had no decent offensive attacks to speak of and he had to remedy that!

Tsuru was easily distracted and a real pain in the ass. You could hear her muffled giggling a mile away and while she had decent offensive and defensive abilities she just took the whole thing like it was one big joke. He was going to force some more work out of them and then he would start survival training early. Because Kami knew that nothing would put them in a serious frame of mind faster then being forced to fend for themselves in Suna's hostile deserts.

**Authoress:**

**And that's the end of the first chapter.**

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Peace out!**

**Little Kunai**


	2. Survival Training

**Chapter Two**

**Survival Training**

After the first week of training decided to pay a visit to the twins to watch them train with their parents unobserved. He felt a small surge of pride at being able to spy on his former student as she and her husband worked with the children and therein lay the problem.

Hidan was clearly not meant to teach taijutsu, or anything else, to anyone. He just threw the children right in and expected them to get it. Usagi clearly had learned, though Baki couldn't see how, since Hidan threw temper tantrums when they didn't move right or readjust their positions.

His fierce tongue lashings forced bold Usagi to improve herself since it was as plain as day that she adored her father and worked hard to please him, even though he paid entirely almost too much attention to Jashin and very little to her.

Jashin on the other hand needed someone to show him step-by-step, he also needed a teacher who didn't explode every three seconds to berate him, which shot his self-esteem all to hell.

Temari at least was patient with the children and offered fair constructive criticism and praise where it was due. But taijutsu had never been her strong suit, well it had never been any of the Sand siblings' strong suit. They were all long-range fighters and Temari favored her wind jutsu which would at least explain why the children had excellent dodging reflexes, since they had learned to get out of her way early on.

Feeling like he'd seen enough for now to learn how to remedy the problem with the twins, he than turned back to Suna. Tomorrow he would be observing Tsuru.

The day dawned unbearably hot and windy and Tsuru was impatiently pestering her father to train her, since Yugure was out on a mission. The Kazekage however was much too busy, since he would be sequestered in long tedious meetings over a possible peace treaty with Iwagakure, finally frustrated, she went out and trained by herself, half of it was instinctive due to the sand demon's blood running through her veins the other half was learned.

Unfortunately, she got bored quickly and ended up goofing off most of the day instead. He realized than, that she was difficult precisely because she was a high energy child and while she had all the energy she needed, she desperately needed the perfect balance of structure to keep her focused as well as something challenging and time consuming to hold her interest.

Other interesting things of note was her sand tail, which acted like one parts defensive and offensive weapon, one parts prehensile limb, helping her to climb, hold things and wrap around things and one parts mood indicator which swung, twitched and curled, though her face was so open, he didn't need the tail to figure out what she was feeling.

The second thing he noticed was that she loved to climb. She climbed a lot pulling herself up like she was part monkey and part cat, presumably because she couldn't use wall walking jutsu yet, but it seemed to be a thing of enjoyment and as it was building up her muscles, he wasn't gonna curb it anytime soon. Baki still needed to observe her training with the Kazekage and Yugure, but that would simply have to wait.

Baki soon had them moving out into the desert, reminding them rather to pay attention or they would get lost, after awhile he told Jashin to pick the direction and they traveled towards the west as Jashin's keen eyes took in everything, trying desperately to figure out a way to find landmarks.

"Don't bother with landmarks, they all get swallowed up in the dunes." Baki reminded him.

"And besides, I just need you to pick a place to set up camp."

Jashin frowned a little. "Alright sensei."

They soon found themselves taking up camp by a large cliff, while Baki began teaching them how to set chakra traps and alarms alongside a few small land mines, since there were no trees. It was a higher level technique that he was teaching them and most ninja didn't learn it till they high level Chuunin, but Baki had always turned out excellent teams and he had every intention of pushing them as hard as he had pushed all the rest.

Plus with Tsuru's large chakra reserves and Jashin's brains it would be easier to teach them how to do it and Jashin help his little sister figure it out on her own. Unfortunately, Baki seriously underestimated the animosity between the twins. Jashin was not likely to help his sister out with much of anything and Usagi despised and bullied her older brother relentlessly. Baki had had to break up several fights between them already.

After dinner was made, Baki began telling them about the geography, which was very important for them to know. He told them that River Country lay to the west and to the southwest, with its deserts and hot, arid canyons was Earth Country and more importantly, Iwagakure and farther out, Kusagakure. He explained that navigating Wind Country was all about memory, since there were no paths and few shinobi dared to come out here to attack them since most did not know there way around.

"Now can anyone of you tell me which way Suna is?" He asked.

"It's northeast of here." Jashin answered.

"Good job Jashin." He said, ignoring the way that Usagi mimed her brother behind his back. He sighed inwardly, it was time to teach little-miss-foul-mouth some responsibility.

"Usagi, you're going to take first watch, and then I want you to wake up Tsuru. Tsuru, you're going to wake me up for the last watch. Now go get some rest."

Yawning and stretching, the other two retired to their tents and settled down for the night, while Usagi put out the fire and grumbled under her breath.

Baki smiled to himself in the dark, the Sea of Dunes would be the perfect grounds for increasing their stamina and it would hopefully tire them out at night so they wouldn't bicker so much, let alone play jokes. Little did Baki realize how wrong he was.

He slept peacefully for most of the night, waking up once when he heard Usagi shaking Tsuru awake to take her shift, then things settled down into sweet tranquility and all was well until he became aware of _something _scuttling on his chest. His eyes snapped open and to his horror he saw a tiny red and blue scorpion, the deadliest species in all of Wind Country a mere fraction of an inch of his nose.

He froze. The Royal Scorpion was aggressive and quick to sting. Its venom paralyzed muscles and organs and required an antidote in no more than half an hour and they were hours away from Suna and none of his students knew how to inject him with a needle yet. Baki stayed absolutely still and prayed that none of his students would come bursting into the tent and startle the arachnid. He wouldn't be the first shinobi to fall victim to it and he wouldn't be the last and he could only hope that one of his students had remembered the way back to Suna.

Then he heard snickered outside the tent and he slashed at the offending creature, watching with relief as it turned instantly into sand. Baki was absolutely furious!

Tsuru and Usagi were clutching their stomachs and laughing uproariously as their sensei stormed out. Those little brats were going to pay.

"Aw! You should have seen the look on your face!" Usagi howled as she leaned up against the tent to support herself.

Tsuru was laughing too hard to say anything at all, her face had gone bright red and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Just wait till he told them what they were gonna do. Baki couldn't wait to see the look on their faces.

"Tsuru! Usagi! You are both in charge of setting up and cleaning the campsite for the rest of our stay here!"

Usagi stopped laughing. "What?"

Two hours later, the campsite had still not been properly cleaned up to Baki's satisfaction, even Tsuru's sunny disposition was waning.

"What's wrong with it this time?" Usagi asked.

"When a shinobi cleans up their camp, they must leave no trace that they were ever here." Baki explained patiently to the whining girl and then proceeded to tell them what needed picking up and what needed proper disposal.

Finally he was satisfied by the girls' efforts and had Jashin lead them farther away from the Sea of Dunes. Today he was going to teach them how to hunt for water and water sources.

He led them to an old, dried up river bed and taught them how to dig for the roots of flowers and plants that bloomed during the deserts occasional flashfloods.

Then he began teaching Tsuru how to meditate so that she could connect with her own element and seek out water beneath the ground, or how to sense out a rare oasis.

He taught them how to treat it with so they wouldn't have to worry about getting ill and even if they were truly desperate, how to convert their own urine into water with a combination of jutsu and chemicals.

He was not surprised to see how grossed out they all were, but reminded them, that water was precious in the desert and that an unknowledgeable person was more likely to die from dehydration than starvation.

It had been four days since they had started and now with their food rations beginning to run out, it was time to teach them how to hunt for food on their own. Non- poisonous snakes, roots and tubers, reptiles, insects, birds and small mammals were on the menu, much, he noticed with mild amusement to his young students' dismay. Much to Baki's dismay was the fact that Usagi could not hunt to save her own life, so he set her to work to gather plants.

Jashin and Tsuru however, worked together to catch things and Baki had to do most of the cooking. He showed them how to prepare things so that they would be edible and to teach them how to be stored properly. None of them wanted to eat much of anything and a few times Tsuru gagged, though she did manage to hold it down.

After two weeks had passed, it was time to head back to Suna. Baki was feeling a little more pleased with his new team, since they had done decently on their first foray into the deadly wilderness of Wind Country.

There were a lot of things that needed to be improved on, such as Usagi's lamentable hunting skills and Tsuru's ability to seek out water sources, something the twins would have to learn by other means. But all in all things had gone well and he was eager to take them back out again, since it was a necessity for all the children, shinobi and civilian alike of Hidden Sand to learn.


	3. Just Another Day

**Chapter Three **

**Just Another Day**

Baki wiped the sweat from his forehead. Jashin frowned staring at the sand as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Little by little, he had been forcing the boy to work on his taijutsu and while he had improved a bit, it was still not his strong suit and he lost constantly when he sparred with his teammates.

Usagi was every bit as vicious as Hidan in a spar and her steadily growing skill with her scythe caused Jashin to shy away from combative taijutsu even more. Tsuru wasn't mean about it, but her sand attacks didn't give him a chance to fight back and he still had to work with her on her taijutsu. Baki had never had a purely non-combatant student and wasn't sure what to do with him, but he would figure something out.

"Alright you three, it's time to pick up our mission for the day."

His team followed him while Tsuru and Usagi chatted animatedly with Jashin trailing behind sullenly.

When Baki read the mission scroll, he knew it was a portent of bad things to come. The girls had guard duty at the gates and he knew that they would only behave for so long before boredom set in.

Jashin had to help in the green house. He wasn't worried about Jashin since the boy had proven quite capable of tending to the plants before….ah! Perhaps he could learn to make poisons and antidotes! Suna was famous for it and if he played his cards right, Takeru might take him under his wing.

"Jashin, you'll be working in the green house with Takeru-san today. Perhaps if you continue to do well, he might consider taking you under his wing as his apprentice. Girls you're going to be guarding the gates today."

"Whaaat?" Usagi whined. "That's so boring."

"Doing guard duty will help you learn patience and vigilance. Something Sand ninja need, since we are out in an open environment."

"At least Takeru-san won't be yelling at us."

Tsuru pointed out, though she sounded like she wasn't looking forward to doing guard duty either.

"Maybe he wouldn't yell at you if you hadn't spilled the fertilizer and killed off some of his plants."

Jashin intoned wryly.

Baki scowled at that memory, Takeru-san had not only yelled at them for ruining several precious plants, he had also chased them out of the green house in a rage.

"Hey! Not all of us can be Green Thumbs like you so either shut up or put up!"

Usagi growled brandishing her fist at her older brother.

Jashin, predictably shut up.

Baki rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day.

Baki went back and forth to check on his students, so far the girls were behaving and Jashin seemed to be getting along well with Takeru, a retired Jounin and tough warrior who ran a tight ship and only took on students he deemed dedicated enough, by first testing them on the care of Suna's precious plant supply.

By the time he got back to the girls, he was not surprised to see that Tsuru and Usagi were doing everything _but _doing guard duty.

Usagi was half-asleep in the heat of the mid-day sun and Tsuru was concentrating on making Sand shapes to keep her boredom at bay. Baki ghosted up behind them.

"Tsuru! Usagi! What do you think you're doing?" He barked.

Tsuru whirled around and Usagi woke up with a startled squawk and reached for her scythe.

"You're mission today is to do guard duty at the gates. What if I had been an enemy shinobi? I could have snuck up and killed you both and entered the village. There is no excuse for this type of behavior! Now I'm going to go get us something to eat and if I find that you've been slacking off again, I will make you do guard duty for a month."

Baki had to hand it to himself, the horrified looks on their faces were priceless.

They snapped back to attention and scanned the vast whirling desert with their eyes while Baki walked away, discreetly leaving a shadow clone to keep an eye on them while he was gone. They weren't the first Genin team to slack off and they wouldn't be the last, but he'd be damned if he was going tolerate their lazy behavior.

He was already getting guff for having such an ill-behaved team, particularly when the Sand Siblings, which included the then insane and unstable Gaara, had kept themselves mostly under control, but at least he had the comfort of one responsible student.

Jashin listened intently as Takeru explained the care of each particular plant, being the quiet, observant type he was more prone to paying attention to exact details, his keen mind absorbing everything the older ninja said and got to work with Takeru keeping a sharp eye on him.

When Baki sensei came in with lunch they sat down and ate in silence for a while when Takeru spoke up.

"You know I was the one who taught your uncle to make poisons."

Jashin looked up with polite interest.

"At first I wasn't going to teach him because he was a snot-nosed little punk, even if he was a good puppet nin, but Elder Chiyo convinced me that he could not be a proper puppeteer without his poisons, one of the best decisions I ever made. He had nothing on Akasuna no Sasori, but he was still a good student….once I beat some manners into his head. You seem to have a knack for it, so perhaps it's in your blood."

"You knew Akasuna no Sasori?" He asked in interest.

"Yup. He was my teammate along with your Aunt Karura. You remind me of her a little. She wasn't very strong, or strong-willed but she had a natural talent with poisons and a green thumb as well."

Jashin wasn't sure whether to feel insulted or complimented by that, so he said nothing, though he was very interested in hearing more since neither hi Aunt Karura or his Great Uncle Yashamaru were ever talked about by his mother or uncles though it did explain a lot about why she had been the sacrifice to create a jinchuuriki.

"You look a little like Yashamaru though…it's those eyes." Takeru said scrutinizing him.

Jashin nodded, used to that statement, it was he'd heard often, sometimes disparagingly, sometimes thoughtfully by older shinobi who had known his uncle, they finished their lunch and went back to work.

Baki was pleasanly surprised to find out that the girls had been very vigilant during his little lunch trip and he sat with them patiently until another Genin team took their place.

As he walked into the green house, Takeru sent Jashin to finish up.

"Send him to me again sometime Baki."

The man called out.

"I could use his help."

Baki smiled at Jashin.

"Well done and it's time for you brats to go home too."

"Yes!"

Tsuru cheered and raced off with Usagi following hot on her heels.

Since the twins lived so far from Suna, they often took turns spending the night at each other's house for days at a time. They alternated at Temari's house for when they were doing nothing but training and the Kazekage's mansion for when they had missions to do in the village, it was simply easier on everyone to do it that way as well as for Hidan to be kept a secret.

Tsuru and Usagi dashed into the mansion and lay their weapons down in their rooms, while Jashin trudged in slowly behind them. They grabbed icy cold drinks of water and sat down on the couch.

"Kids get in here and help me out with dinner!"

Yugure called out and grumbling they got up.

Jashin was busy helping his aunt cook while the girls were busy cutting up vegetables for the meal when Usagi grinned and kicked her cousin gently in the butt.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Tsuru snapped.

Jashin shook his head.

Usagi smirked and did it again.

"Usagi! Quit!" She growled.

Usagi did it a third time and Tsuru retaliated, unfortunately when she to kick her cousin she slipped on some grains of sand that she had trudged in from outside and fell on her side with an undignified yelp.

Usagi burst into laughter and Jashin snickered quietly to himself.

"Man! I didn't know you were such a klutz Tsuru-chan!"

Tsuru got up laughing.

"I must have looked pretty ridiculous huh?"

"Yup! You're a disgrace to the whole family and the worst part is, ya didn't even get me."

Usagi said in mock somber tones.

"That just sounds…wrong coming from you!"

"Oy! You're the one who's being a pervert!"

She said, pretending to be offended.

Tsuru snorted and turned back to cutting her vegetables and all was quiet for a few minutes until Tsuru got Usagi in the butt.

"Hey!"

Tsuru grinned.

"Got you."

"Aunt Yugure! Tsuru is violating me!"

Aunt Yugure grinned.

"You started it Usagi chan." She pointed out.

"That's blasphemy! I am a perfect angel!"

Usagi said, striking a pose.

"Entertaining delusions of grandeur again are we?"

Jashin muttered.

"What'd you say to me big brother?!"

Usagi snarled, stomping over to him and getting in his face.

Jashin leaned back a little.

"Nothing."

"Oh no, you said _something_! So why don't you quit acting like chicken shit and say it to my face!"

"Usagi! I've told you before, not to use that kind of language!"

The former Taki kunoichi barked.

"You're uncle won't tolerate it."

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry Aunt Yugure." She mumbled.

Dinner was a companionable affair and Yugure began to worry. When the girls were behaving well, it usually meant that they were up to no good. She double checked everything in her room before going to bed, after all she did have a mission in the morning.

Gaara walked in around eleven that night and began putting the papers away in his desk, his eyelids were drooping and the chair, though not as comfortable as he'd like was more convenient and he sank down into it wearily when he realized that there was _something _in it. A very sticky something. Gaara tried to sit up, but his pants were stuck fast and while he _could _get free, that might mean making a big hole in them. Only one person was brave enough to actually prank him.

"Tsuru!" He roared.

Yugure woke with a start when she heard her husband bellowing. He was never one to holler anyways so it could only mean that Tsuru had successfully pulled a prank.

"Aw shit!" She grumbled as she walked into his office.

There was Gaara, trying patiently to free himself from his chair.

"Tsuru! Get your ass in here!" She called, hearing giggling a few minutes later.

"Get him out of the chair will you!" She snapped.

"Ok, ok." She said unrepentantly and took out a kunai to try and help peel him out of his chair inch-by-inch. It wasn't a bad idea and it might have worked had Tsuru not gotten impatient, but low and behold the Kazekage got loose-accompanied by a very loud ripping noise.

Gaara was not amused by his daughter's antics today.

"Tsuru! Your paychecks will go into repairing the damage you've done. Don't do it again!"

Tsuru grinned sheepishly and promised him she wouldn't.

Gaara and Yugure sighed, it was just another day for them really.


	4. The Chunin Exams

_**The Chunin Exams **_

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Man this was a big chapter! **_

_**Biggest one I ever wrote at a **_

_**grand total of thirteen pages!**_

_Baki was busy going over his student's reports and records, tallying up how many missions they had racked up in the last four months, mostly D-Ranks but there were a few courier missions made to allying villages and two escorts. Hmm. They had met the bare minimum _for entering the Chunin exams which were taking place in Hidden Mist for the first time, after much deliberating, he finally made his decision and went to get his students.

"Listen up you three I have an important announcement to make."

They all looked at him when he spoke.

"I've registered you for the Chunin exams this year. It will be held in Kirigakure and it's the first time we've been allowed to participate there in twenty years so I _need you all _to be on your best behavior!"

Baki was a realist, which meant that he wasn't going to hold his breath when it came to the girls' behavior. Though he shuddered to think about Mist's reaction to his team. Mist nin weren't known for having a good sense of humor. That was more of a Leaf thing.

"Cool!" Squealed Usagi. "I'm gonna get a chance to kick some Mist nins' asses!"

"Usagi what have I told you about using that kind of language?" Baki reprimanded.

"Geez you sound like my mom Baki-sensei." She grumbled.

Baki rolled his eyes, he'd been doing that a lot lately.

"We leave tomorrow with the other twelve teams so I recommend you all start packing tonight. Here's a list of what you need, here are your passports into Mist. Don't lose them. I can't replace them. "

A week's hard traveling found them at Kirigakure's gates. The day was predictably gray and the sun shone through the morning mist weakly. After showing their passes to the dour looking guards no sooner had they walked on through when Temari found herself being hailed by a very familiar voice.

"Hello Temari!" Temari who was Suna's diplomatic representative whirled around, almost to get bowled over by Konoha's Second Green Beast.

"Hello Lee." She said. "What are you doing here?"

"I see that my beautiful wife has been far too busy at the hospital to tell you the wonderful news!" Lee shouted. "I have followed in Gai-sensei's footsteps and become a sensei myself!"

Temari smiled, that would be an amusing sight…or a disturbing one depending on your point of view.

"Congratulations. Who's on your team?"

With great flourish, Lee stepped aside to reveal his Genin team. "I would like to present my youthful team Zetsumyou Lee, Jiraiya Uzumaki and Tadashi Nara"

Baki's Genin stepped forward to take a better look. They knew Jiraiya, but not his teammates.

Zetsumyou Lee had Sakura's green eyes and heart-shaped face, her hair was a thick, glossy, black pulled back into a French braid. She wore a gray tank top and snow camouflage pants. She loved Taijutsu as much as her father and was hoping to learn how to wield her mother's insane strength. She was boisterous and cheerful. She too stared curiously at the three Sand Genin she'd heard so much about.

Jiraiya Uzumaki was the Hokage's son, though he had a half-brother from his mother's last marriage. His mother Hoshi had barely survived giving birth to him and couldn't have any more kids as a result. Like Tsuru, he was part demon. He had dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes, he wore red shorts and a red t-shirt. He was good friends with Tsuru and they often teamed up for pranks whenever his father brought him to Suna. He was energetic, hot-tempered and fun-loving. He also seemed to have a thing for hot-tempered girls because he'd had a huge crush on Usagi ever since they first met.

Tadashi Nara had dark blue eyes and his dark brown hair was pulled up in the traditional Nara clan style. He also wore the traditional Nara clan outfit. He was laid back and intelligent but he was also a little on the insecure side, he quietly fretted about his own abilities and often over thought things which in his case was to his detriment.

"Hey Usagi! Howsabout a kiss?" Said Jiraiya who puckered up, causing Usagi to turn bright red.

"Jiraiya Uzumaki!" She growled raising her fist. "You'd better put those lips back where they belong before I rip 'em off your face!"

Jiraiya scowled in a very Naruto-esque fashion.

Temari smirked, Lee was certainly going to have his hands full with these three.

"I am so pleased to have such a spirited team!" Lee was saying.

Temari took a cursory glance at the Nara boy and rolled her eyes.

Lee looked at Baki's trio. He remembered the Kazekage's daughter of course, but he'd yet to meet the Kami twins.

"Excuse me Lee but I have business to take care of." Said Temari. Being Sand's diplomat, she would immediately have to unpack, change and meet up with the new Mizukage.

Jashin instantly took a step back when the very strange man bent down to take a good look at him.

"And who are your teammates Tsuru-chan?" He asked.

Tsuru took charge. "This is my cousin Jashin. He's kinda shy."

Lee looked over at the white-haired girl who was busy arguing vehemently with Jiraiya.

"That's my other cousin Usagi." She said with a grin.

"Hey Lee!" Called another cheerful voice.

Lee turned to look at his teammate Tenten, who was bringing her first Genin team over. On Tenten's team was Goma Akimichi. Chouji's oldest. The blonde-haired, brown-eyed boy was busy munching on a bag of potato chips and donned traditional Akimichi garb, his eyes took in the Sand team with interest. He was an observant boy who had inherited his mother's need to organize things, from ingredients to clothes to weapons, which bordered on OCD and drove his two teammates crazy.

Then there was Akatsume Inuzuka and his dog Imoto. Akatsume had unruly red hair and like his other two siblings possessed the Byakugan. He was Kiba and Hinata's second oldest. His dog Imoto resembled an English Setter, but she had a thicker coat and sturdier legs. Akatsume was arrogant, selfish and stand-offish. He was constantly complaining that his teammates got in the way and Tenten was trying hard to drum the concept of teamwork into his head. Something the frustrated kunoichi would have thought he'd learned just by being an Inuzuka and she couldn't help but wonder if his Hyuuga heritage took over more then he cared to admit.

Than there was Kaede Koichi. Genma Shiranui had had a relationship with a rich civilian woman whose family did most of Fire Country's landscaping. There had been a falling out between Suiren Koichi and Genma before she found out she was pregnant and he went on a mission, only to be presumed KIA a month later. Kaede had Genma's caramel colored hair and big light brown eyes, she wore a knee-length brown skirt and tank top, she was observant and intelligent and Tenten thought she might make a good spy. Her weapons of choice were two short, scythe-like blades on small handles which could be used to decapitate, slit throats or gut people, she was a joy to teach and even though Tenten would never admit it, Kaede was her favorite.

"Ah! Tenten-chan you made it!" Said Lee, enveloping her in an enthusiastic hug.

He cast an appraising eye over her Genin team and greeted each of them by name and introduced them to Baki's team. Just then Lee noticed someone.

"Kakashi-san wait! I have Gai-sensei's birthday present for you!" Lee called out as Kakashi and his team strolled over.

They were thirteen. Asami Lee was Sakura and Lee's oldest daughter, she had fuchsia hair down to the middle of her back and green eyes. She wore a black spaghetti strap and medic skirt. She wanted to become a medic nin and she seemed to have a talent for it as she had always been more into medical jutsu then fighting, she'd failed the Chunin Exams once already so Kakashi had had to force her to work on Taijutsu skills.

Kakashi's second girl was Harusame Inuzuka. Akatsume's older sister. Harusame had chin length chestnut brown hair and the traditional Inuzuka tattoos. She was a serious-minded girl and a vicious fighter, prone to long grudges. Along with her was her red-furred, wolf hybrid Sabiru. She wore a sleeveless tan shirt and tan pants. She and her brothers were being taught both the Hyuuga and Inuzuka clan fighting styles. She greeted Akatsume who ignored her and scratched Imoto under the chin affectionately.

The last member of Kakashi's team was Yasumichi Yuuhi, he had short black hair and the red eyes of the Yuuhi clan. The boy wore a black muscle shirt and loose, wrapped black pants. He was laid back and lazy and very intelligent.

"How thoughtful of Gai." Said Kakashi, taking the brown package from Lee as visions of green spandex danced in his head.

Gai had been trying to convince him to wear them for years. He was more then pleasantly surprised to find several of the latest Icha Icha movie. His hands shook as he stared at the video and a bright blush spread across the visible parts of his face and began giggling hysterically. His team groaned in embarrassment.

Lee couldn't have looked more thrilled.

"Wonderful! I cannot wait to tell Gai-sensei how much you loved his gift! He will be most pleased to know that his gift filled you with so much youthfulness."

Usagi and Tsuru couldn't suppress a snicker at the strange exclamation, or when they noticed Baki sensei discreetly trying to sneak a peek at the movie cover.

Baki scowled and looked away.

"C'mon you three, we have to go get our hotel room."

Tsuru and Usagi burst into laughter as Baki blushed fiercely and stalked off.

After they'd gotten settled in, they immediately went to take the first test, the results showed up the next hour and Baki scanned the list anxiously, then shook his head in bemusement. He wasn't quite sure whether he should be glad or disappointed that his team had come in second-to-last on their test scores.

The next day…

"Hey Usagi-chan! See that cute guy over there?"

"What cute guy?" Usagi asked.

"That one there."

"That's _your _idea of cute? But he's so puny."

"So? He's still pretty cute."

"I guess. What about him?"

"Let's go play a little prank."

"Sounds good!"

Tsuru began whispering in her ear and Usagi snickered.

Jashin frowned. What were they up too this time?

Usagi sauntered over and gave the boy a winsome smile.

The Mist nin blushed a little and smiled back.

"Hi." She said.

"Umm…hi."

"So you taking the Chunin exams right?"

"Yeah."

Usagi got the boy, whose name was Sazanami Minamoto, talking for a bit, well, she did most of the talking anyways, when suddenly there was a loud rustling in the bushes.

"What was that?" Sazanami asked, looking a little alarmed.

Usagi feigned confusion and nearby, Jashin rolled his eyes.

"I dunno. Let's check it out."

So the two Genin followed the rustling sounds and noises for a ways when Sazanami was joined by a taller, muscular thirteen-year old wielding a zanbatto.

"Sazanami what are you doing?" Kotora Momochi asked his teammate.

Usagi batted her eyelashes on him and wondered if she could find a way to discreetly get Tsuru to cancel this little prank of theirs.

Sazanami turned red and looked down.

"We were following a weird sound in the bushes Kotora."

"You were following a weird sound in the bushes?" He asked caustically.

"Move over! Lemme see!"

He walked over ripped off a bush and both he and Sazanami leapt back with a surprised yelp as a little tanuki wearing ninja garb and wielding a miniature katana galloped from the bushes on a tiny horse, soared into the air and disappeared into cloud drift.

"What the-" Kotora muttered.

Tsuru burst into laughter from the trees.

Usagi mentally groaned, but instead put on an apologetic face for Kotora.

"Please excuse my teammate she's a leetle disturbed heh heh heh."

"Whaaa?"

Tsuru asked as Usagi dragged her away.

Baki was out looking for the three of them when he felt someone watching him. He narrowed his eyes and walked out a little further senses on high alert when someone came out of the shadows.

"It's been a long time Baki sempai." The man growled.

"Maro." Baki said. "What are you doing here?"

Maro Tottori had been a fiercely loyal Sand ninja who had been falsely accused of a crime he hadn't committed and spend thirteen years in prison for it, when new evidence was brought to light he had been released and pardoned but had left the prison very bitter and became a nukenin.

"I'm here to take revenge on Sunagakure."

Maro Tottori charged and Baki tensed for attack.

Temari was summoned to the hospital and Baki was sitting up in his bed with an unhappy scowl on his face.

"What happened Baki?"

"Maro Tottori attacked me, he was trying to get revenge on the Kazekage for his imprisonment. I killed him, but the doctor has bad news."

"What bad news?" She asked.

He sighed. "He messed up my spine pretty bad, one wrong jar or wrench and I could be paralyzed."

Temari shook her head. She knew that shinobi could sustain serious injuries that put them out of commission permanently, it was a risk they all took. But it bothered her to see her sensei, who had always been a strong dependable presence in her life being forcibly retired.

Kakuzu was eating his meager meal quietly when he heard giggles. He glanced over at the entrance to see two Genin walking in the doorway. The first girl had black hair and pale green eyes, she had a round face and a slender, delicate build. She wore a green shirt and khaki pants. She looked familiar and Kakuzu was struggling to place her. She also had a very large, strange chakra signature; something not quite human. There was a base undertone to it that reminded him vaguely of Kisame and Zetsu, but she didn't feel dangerous. He filed it away for later, eyes flitting to the girl's weapon which gave away her identity. She was the Kazekage's daughter. There was a tanuki's mask painted quite elegantly on the gourd. The straps that held the gourd in place were made of smooth, brown leather and there was a strip of white cloth on her left shoulder.

He turned to observe the other girl and stiffened with shock! It was Hidan's daughter! Silvery-gray hair pulled into waist-long pigtails, she had purple eyes, a heart-shaped face, a pointed chin and Hidan's signature sneer, though there was none of his former partner's insanity shining in her eyes. She wore a pale pink skirt and tucked in white shirt. His eyes traveled to the girls' weapon. The girl kept a smaller, modified, single-bladed version of Hidan's scythe strapped to her back, the handle was black leather, the blade was a deep blood-red, edged with silver.

Hmm where was the boy? Kakuzu knew that his ex-partner had an older son. The news of the battle between Jashin and Seishin had been spread all over the world and the twin vessels had been granted souls of their own. But Hidan's boy was nowhere in sight.

The Kazekage's daughter giggled. "Did you see the look on that Mist kid's face Usagi-chan? You gotta admit that was sheer genius!"

Usagi rolled her eyes.

"How come I got stuck with such a squirrelly cousin?"

It appeared that she also inherited her father's love of dramatics. Kakuzu noticed wryly.

Tsuru smirked affectionately and put an arm around her cousin's shoulder.

"Because if it wasn't for me your life would be boring." She said cheerfully and for that Usagi had no comeback.

Tsuru turned around and called out, "Hey Jashin!"

"Hey." He mumbled.

Kakuzu turned to eye the newcomer and grinned beneath his mask, here was the boy. The boy's sleek hair was a platinum blonde. He was stocky and short and his outfit consisted of a standard desert camouflage uniform, mesh top and ninja sandals. He was unnoticeable, except for his eyes which were the same unusual shade of purple. Unlike the girls he didn't carry visible weapons other then his kunai holster and shuriken pouch and he seemed quiet and shy. A far cry from Hidan's loud mouth and flamboyant ways.

.

"So." Tsuru said with a grin, "You finally decided to emerge from your hidey-hole huh?"

Jashin ignored the jibe and asked, "What are you two morons doing?"

Tsuru began to blow on the steaming hot rice. "What? We're eating! We're allowed to be here."

Jashin shook his head.

"Snake Monkey Bird! Behold! Tattle-tale jutsu!" She quipped, making mock hand signs.

Can it tanuki brat!" Said Jashin irritably.

"So…" thought Kakuzu, "…the rumors are true."

"Hey! Don't call her tanuki brat or I'll pummel you!" Usagi growled threateningly, brandishing her fists.

The black-haired girl asked. "So how come you're here?"

This was said with a forced casualness and Kakuzu was under the impression that she was attempting to defuse a potentially nasty situation.

"I just wanted to know what you two were up too." He said, "Baki sensei heard about your little stunt."

"Big brother! I'm warning you!" Usagi growled

"Oh yeah that was awesome!" Tsuru said with a grin.

"I thought Baki sensei warned you not to draw unnecessary attention to yourself Tsuru." Jashin grumbled.

"So that's her name." Kakuzu noted, idly wondering how much the "tanuki brat" would be worth for ransom.

"Jashin, I carry a monster-sized gourd on my back. I'm gonna get noticed anyways." Tsuru pointed out.

Jashin sat down and ordered a meal. "You're such an idiot."

Kakuzu tensed when Usagi jumped up and screamed. "Jashin! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

The lone waiter ducked behind the counter, for he had learned quickly that shinobi children were dangerous

She flung a kunai at him, but he dodged it, then she leapt up on the table and the two of them began to zoom around the small restaurant. Bouncing here bouncing there and then she caught him and began wailing on him furiously with her fists.

Kakuzu had had enough of the brats antics. His arms shot out and he grabbed the trio.

"These your kids mister?" The waiter asked, attempting to regain some of his dignity.

"Nope." Was all Kakuzu said before carrying them out of the restroom.

Kakuzu took a moment to concentrate on Temari's chakra signature, he'd seen her when he was walking into town. Once he locked onto it, her signature led him to the motel she was staying at. He knocked on the door.

Temari opened it, looking tense and leery.

"I believe these-" he said dropping all three kids unceremoniously on the floor,

"-are yours."

Temari gaped at him in shock. "K-Kakuzu?" She asked in a hushed whisper.

"Humph!" Was all that the missing Taki nin would say.

She rounded on the trio. "Go to bed now! There's something we have to discuss later. Do not-I repeat do not go back out again!" Her voice was harsh and commanding.

There should by rights be no arguing with that tone of voice, Kakuzu knew but that didn't stop the three Genin from arguing anyways. Temari sighed.

"Thanks for bringing them back." She said briskly and wondered why he was still hanging around. She sincerely doubted that her husband's former partner was the nostalgic type.

"You're still with Hidan. Why?" He asked.

Temari smirked and shook her head. "I have no idea, he kinda grew on me."

Kakuzu snorted, "He grew on you did he? Well so do warts but I don't keep them around!" He said uncharitably.

Then she frowned, "I don't mean to be rude Kakuzu-san but I have urgent business to deal with-"

"Your old sensei." Kakuzu said. If Temari was surprised, she didn't show it.

"Yeah, I have no idea how I'm going to break it to the kids." She said, turning her head away.

Baki had been seriously injured by a missing Sand nin out for revenge who thought to strike out at the Kazekage's family. The only good news was that Baki had killed him, the bad news was he was permanently out of commission.

"I assume they are going to need a sensei." Kakuzu blurted out. Then blinked in surprise.

She looked at him sharply.

"Where are you going with this?" She asked suspiciously, though she already knew Kakuzu would do almost anything for money.

Kakuzu didn't like where his thoughts were going either, though he was deplorably low on money. Work was slow since he'd defected from Akatsuki and if there was one thing in the world that would cause him to sweat, it was lack of cash.

"Water Country demands that the candidates' sensei be present for the Chunin Exams. No exceptions, it's nearly a week's journey from Sand to Mist and the second exam starts in two days. Unless you can find another teacher, your brats are disqualified. And I seriously doubt that you came all the way here just for that. Especially since this is the first time in two decades that Mist has opened its gates to Sand."

Temari sighed. Business…it was always business with the old man.

"What makes you think we don't have someone else with the proper qualifications?" She asked.

"Because you have never had the training to become a qualified Jounin sensei. I used to be one."

Temari jaw dropped! Kakuzu? The impatient, bad-tempered old man who, if the other

Akatsuki were to be believed murdered his junior partners as easily as flies used to be a Jounin sensei?

She growled warningly. "You're too hotheaded Kakuzu and the girls will drive you crazy."

Kakuzu snorted, "Genin are Genin anywhere you go! They're all brats!" He made a gesture, indicating that she elaborate anyways and without thinking Temari walked right into it.

"Tsuru is constantly playing practical jokes on everybody, she played a prank on Baki-san's first day and Usagi tries to act like Hidan which I know you won't be able to handle."

"You owe me." Kakuzu said eloquently.

"I owe you?" Temari was evidently puzzled.

"How do you think you got home?" Kakuzu asked smirking beneath his mask. He had always been good at bargaining.

"That was you?" Temari incredulously.

"Of course! Hidan was too much of an idiot to let you go just like that and the other Akatsuki members didn't give a damn."

What he said made perfect sense and Temari was irritated. "You did it for the hefty reward." She pointed out.

He didn't deny it.

"Yes. But I also knew that Akatsuki was no place to raise a kid. You think Leader would have let them go if he knew what they were harboring?"

Temari looked into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. He was again making perfect sense and she couldn't argue with logic.

"Besides, it'll just be till the exams are over and I do expect to be paid." He said just to make sure she understood that he refused to do this for free. "I won't harm them Temari if that's what your worried about. You'd be my client."

Temari for some reason trusted the old man to keep his word and Temari was a ninja who listened to her instincts and seldom trusted anyone.

Kakuzu wondered what he was doing offering to teach Hidan's brats, but money was money and he'd put up with them for the next five years if he had too, to ensure he got paid well. Kakuzu hadn't been lying, all ninja in his village had been expected to train at least one Genin squad. They weren't allowed to become Jounin otherwise. He began mentally calculating how much his services would be worth.

"I want a normal sensei's salary for everyday I'm with them, plus extra for me offering my services on such short notice."

Temari's eyes narrowed in irritation as she calculated the amount of money it would take. She would be broke for two months at least.

"Fine." she grumbled resentfully. "Good night Kakuzu." She turned towards the door and closed it.

**Author's Note:**

**I know you didn't see that one coming!**

**What did poor Kakuzu get himself into?**

**Mwahahahaha!**


	5. A Changing of the Guard

**Chapter Five**

**A Changing of the Guard**

"I am Yashayama and in light of recent events, I have been called upon to replace your sensei in the exams."

The three kids stared up at him. Their new sensei was huge He also looked pretty mean. None of them were quite sure what to make of their crusty old giant of a sensei.

"Since I'm going to be Baki's replacement I need to get a feel for your abilities, so hurry up and get to the training fields. I want to see what you little punks can do!"

Usagi grit her teeth. He sounded even stricter then Baki sensei, so it was to no one's surprise when she pointed a finger in his face, or at least as close to it as she could get and said.

"You're on! Old man."

It was at that moment that Kakuzu decided he hated Usagi.

After a few hours of having them show him how they handled weapons, jutsu and hand to hand combat, Kakuzu had to wonder why they were at the Chunin exams. They were functioning at a mere average when he knew they could be doing better. He hissed irritably, he didn't have nearly enough time to work with them since their second test would be coming up soon. Mist had never failed to live up to it's name, it's Genin were constantly trying to kill each other and few villages wanted to send their Genin their for the exams.

Well, he would have plenty of time to figure out how best to help them hone their individual talents. He was beginning to get an idea of what they could be turned into and fortunately for them, he had an extensive amount of knowledge on all three professions…that is, _if _they survived.

A big fierce looking Mist nin glared at his young charges, mentally counting the teams that had passed the written exams. There were twenty-three teams all in all and Junichi was genuinely surprised that so many had made it this far.

"I'm Junichi, your proctor for the second part of the exam. I'm going to explain the rules to you so pay attention because I won't repeat myself." The Genin ignored him and he looked angry.

"Hey brats! I said listen up!" He roared. That did the trick, most of the teams looked intimidated by the tall grizzly looking old man.

"You will be going on a simulation mission. Three teams will go up one at a time depending on their score to one of the stalls you see over there. Those teams will each be handed a bag containing gemstones in them, to deliver to your "client" which will be one of the two Jounin who hands you the jewels on the other side of the island so make sure you remember their faces. You can steal another person's jewels, the more you have, the higher your score will be. You only have three days to complete this mission!"

Jun fell silent, listening as the Genin began squabbling amongst themselves as to who should go get the bag.

"Ok. I propose we do this in a completely neutral way. Paper, scissors rock!" Said Tsuru.

Her teammates groaned. Jashin ended up being the winner. But they ended up being one of the last teams to be called up. "Team 16 from Sunagakure!"

"Well it's about fucking time!" Grumbled Usagi under her breath looking around at the other two remaining teams yet to be called.

"Ok! I got it let's go!" Called Jashin and the three were off. The sun was already setting by the time they reached Area 47.

As they were trying to get a feel for the surrounding area, when Team 27 from Leaf ambushed them and stole their gems.

"Wow what a great start! It's gonna be getting dark soon and we're gonna be at a huge disadvantage right off the bat. This seriously sucks!" Usagi complained.

"Oh quit your whining."

"Think we should make camp Jashin?" Usagi asked, a lot of her bluster and fierce attitude flying right out the window.

"Yeah, that'd be smart." He whispered. "Let's find a decent spot, while Tsuru sets some traps and we'll take shifts guarding camp."

They found a place where there was a small stream and some trees and rolled out their sleeping bags while Jashin began setting up his traps around the area and climbed into his bags.

"How come you get to sleep first?" Usagi hissed irritably.

"Because you haven't done anything useful yet!" He snapped.

Grumbling she wrapped her arms around her knees and shivered uncontrollably. It was too damn cold in Mist and all she really wanted was to climb into her sleeping bag where she would be nice and warm. But at least the cold would help her stay awake. She had soon broken out into a cold sweat and each noise made her jumpy and irritated. The mist thickened and she began to feel extremely paranoid. Finally after five nerve wracking hours she woke up her cousin and clambered gratefully into her sleeping bag.

When a hazy pink light began to show up on the horizon, Tsuru heard the sound of someone struggling in one of her traps. She woke her cousins, (Usagi was snoring loudly) and went to investigate. She crept up to find, much to her delight one of the teammates of the boy she'd tricked when they first arrived snooping around camp.

Unbeknownst to each other, Team 21 from Kirigakure were camping close by Team 16. Kotora Momochi was investigating the source of a noise he'd heard on guard duty when suddenly the Mist Genin found himself dangling from a rope with that weird Sand girl hanging on the other end giggling hysterically, she waved jauntily at him while pulling on the rope as if she were ringing a big bell.

"What did we catch Tsuru?" Asked Jashin as the twins walked over to investigate their find.

Kotora glared at them indignantly. Usagi's sour mood instantly transformed and she hastily pulled some twigs out of her silver hair and smoothed down her skirt. She hoped she didn't stink too bad.

"Hi Kotora-kun." She said with a grin and waving happily.

"Go ahead Usagi-chan! Go give Kotora-kun a big kiss." Tsuru jeered as she swung back and forth on the rope.

His eyes widened and the Momochi boy who had caught Usagi's eye found himself getting roughly shaken down, he made a desperate grab for his gems but the blonde boy was faster.

"Hey you little shits come back here!" He growled at them as they ran off.

Usagi lingered close to Kotora for a moment and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and both Genin blushed hotly before she scampered off to rejoin her teammates. Kotora twisted and turned and finally managed to reach his sword so he could cut himself down. He considered telling his own teammates that he had lost the gems in a fierce battle. It would be too embarrassing to tell them he'd been caught in a trap and kissed while theirs had been stolen.

"Hey nice! Looks like we're back in the game." Whispered Jashin happily.

"Ok. We need to come up with a game plan. I propose that we steal another team's gems and have a couple of bags full of stones so that way we if we get ambushed again, we'll at least end up with one bag by the time we make it to the other side. "

"Having decoys is a good idea big brother."

Usagi admitted thoughtfully, so they gathered stones while Usagi sewed a bag and Tsuru acted as the lookout, then they carefully weighed them, to make sure that they felt as close as possible to the real deal and agreed to take turns holding different bags, because seriously, some people were bound to be observant.

Then they started the task of looking for another team, the first team they came across was a bunch of kunoichi from Rain and they decided to leave them alone, since they were in the process of fighting a team from Mist and one Mist nin looked like he had died. They bypassed two other groups from Mist and Stone who seemed too tough to defeat easily. They did come across another group that seemed a lot easier to defeat, unfortunately none of them had the heart to do it.

"Maaan. We can't steal from Raiya-kun! He'd never forgive us." Tsuru muttered, staring at the blissfully unaware Team 23. The others nodded and they left, that's when they discovered Team 27, the very same jerks who had stolen their gems the night before.

Akatsume sniffed the air suspiciously and Imoto growled softly.

"What is it Akatsume?" Goma asked nervously.

"There's someone watching us." He muttered.

"Quick take the gems and hide!" He hissed and tossed the bag to Kaede.

He didn't think either of his teammates could keep up with him and Imoto, but he trusted Kaede more then he trusted Goma to keep the bag safe.

Jashin and the others moved away, it was difficult to ambush someone who had a superior sense of smell and the Byakugan and while the other two weren't as strong as she was in a fight, Usagi didn't think she could defeat Akatsume in a fight.

"Hey! It's those Sand wussies we nabbed the gems from and they've got another bag! Let's get em!"

"Shit!" She cursed.

"Usagi! I need you to take care of those two, me and Tsuru'll take care of dog boy!"

Usagi was about to open her mouth and point out that Akatsume Inuzuka and his hellhound would beat him to a pulp but then she saw Jashin fingering his sleeping dust and nodded, besides this might give her a chance to get the gems away from Kaede.

Tsuru had caught onto Jashin's plan too and grinned excitedly.

"You two honestly think you can take me on? That's rich!" Akatsume sneered.

Beside him, Imoto whuffed irritably at her master's overconfidence. The humans seemed a little to smug for someone who was about to get beaten again and she told him so.

"Relax." Akatsume whispered to his dog. "This'll be a breeze."

He activated his Byakugan and charged at them.

Jashin and Tsuru jumped out of his way and Tsuru turned to face them, using her sand tail to try and hit them hard, but Akatsume and Imoto avoided it with ease.

Meanwhile Usagi had quickly taken out the slower Akimichi with a good crack to the head and was now up against Kaede. Her scythe whirled and spun as she steadily drove the brown haired Leaf nin back.

Kaede was getting frustrated. It was true that she was being taught by the Weapons Mistress of Konoha, but her twin scythes, which she used in conjunction with the Praying Mantis style of martial arts seemed to be ill-suited because the Sand nin's weapon was longer and she was a close to mid-ranger fighter, while Kaede was close range only, and the taller girl was faster and stronger and wasn't giving her a chance to find an opening, so all she could do was defend.

Jashin had stepped back from the fight and was waiting for just the right moment.

Tsuru having to dodge Akatsume's jabbing fingers and Imoto's sharp fangs at the same time, decided to make a construct to distract the dog and so she created a larger scale model of the Royal Scorpion she'd used to scare Baki sensei with. She didn't have as much control over the larger model and it moved clumsily, but at least it was keeping the dog out of her hair.

She made a small, but powerful wave of sand crash into Akatsume who was now trying desperately to get to his dog, then she used tendrils to try and trip him up, but with his Byakugan still activated, he avoided it easily by leaping upward onto the tree and he headed straight for Jashin, who silently blessed the fact that he was very skilled at dodging and ducking.

Usagi had managed to fling the right scythe away since the girl seemed to favor her right hand more and landed a vicious jumping kick to the girl's face. Kaede panicked momentarily and her scythe sliced her leg.

Usagi snarled and went on the offensive, causing Kaede to stumble back with an elbow to the nose, then slashed at Kaede's weapons pouch just as Jashin had been flung into the tree and lost his bag.

"Imoto! Get the bag!" Akatsume called and the dog managed to finally get around the scorpion's snapping pinchers and a mad scramble ensued as Usagi ripped open Kaede's arm and began wrestling the dog for the two bags. They rolled around and around on the ground, Imoto snarling and Usagi tugging, forgetting that she was the one who had the gems.

Tsuru in the meantime had managed to trap Akatsume in a Sand Coffin and Jashin blew a puff of dust his way.

Goma had finally regained consciousness and had managed to drive Tsuru off with a giant arm.

"Ha! We got them!" Kaede cried.

"Let's get out of here." Goma said as he pulled Akatsume up and tried to get the stumbling dog nin to move forward.

The trio got away just as Akatsume could barely keep his eyes open and Kaede gave Goma the second bag for safekeeping. Upon accepting the bag, the observant Akimichi tossed the bag lightly and scowled.

"Whas' wrong Goma?" Slurred Akatsume.

"This bag feels heavier and…rougher than it's supposed too."

"So what?" Kaede grumped.

"They never said that we would all have the same amount in each bag."

"They never said they didn't either." Goma reminded her.

"Get to th' point." Akatsume's head was drooping.

Goma inspected it carefully, weighed it in his hands and opened it with a cry of dismay.

Team 27 watched as rocks tumbled into his palm.

Horrified Kaede pulled her bag out and opened it.

"Darn it!" She hissed as she dumped the rocks onto the ground. To add insult to injury of grabbing two decoy bags, which Goma thought was a clever idea and decided to use, the sound of Akatsume's snores drifted up into the morning air.

Meanwhile Jashin and his teammates were grinning at the fact that had gotten their original bag back, in addition to keeping the one they'd snagged from the Mist boy. Sure it was just a very lucky fluke, but no one had to know that.

As the day wore on, they began to talk about what they should do.

"I think we should keep heading towards the other side of the island and see if we can't make the cut with two bags. " Usagi said. "I mean, we're good to go right?"

"I don't know Usagi-chan." Said Tsuru doubtfully. "There are some really strong teams out there and I'll bet some of em will have at _least _three or four bags by the time they get to the other side of the island. We should try and grab at least one more."

"Why push our luck? Especially when we're as tired as we are right now?" Jashin asked. "Making that Sand Scorpion really did a number on Tsuru and you took first watch last night and we've been traveling all day. It'd be easy for a stronger team to get the drop on us and wipe us out. I say we rest for a few hours."

"We don't have time to rest you idiot! We need to get to our client by tomorrow night and the sun will be going down in a few hours!" Usagi hissed.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Tsuru said, holding her hands up to try and calm down the bickering twins. "Now's not the time to fight guys, remember what Baki sensei said? We gotta really stick together this time or we're toast!"

"Baki sensei didn't say that." Usagi grumbled.

"Ok, well maybe he didn't say it _that way_." Tsuru amended. "But he did say something kinda like that. Besides, I've got an idea. Why don't we do all three?"

Both twins turned towards her.

"What?" Usagi asked.

Jashin just inclined his head.

"First we'll stop and find a decent place to grab some shut eye, then once we're all rested, we'll figure out a way to get another bag from another team on the way."

"That sounds like a good idea." The twins said at the same time and then glared at each other.

"I'll take first watch while you and Usagi catch up on your sleep." Jashin offered.

"Pfft! Like I want you guarding my back!" His sister scoffed, but grudgingly climbed into her sleeping bag.

They found a quiet spot near the water and that was when disaster almost struck.

Tsuru and Usagi were sleeping fitfully while Jashin stood guard, when Team 19 from Mist crept up silently behind them.

Yugasa Kamino, Tanpopo Mizukusaharano and Fukuro Shinchuha had been tailing the loud mouth idiots for a couple of hours now. They had one bag that they had stolen from a group of Grass nin and Sand nin each and two others that they had nabbed from some Snow nin. They tried to go for six, but they had made the mistake of tackling a powerful team from Waterfall and had lost a bag to them. But they felt that this time around they were in luck. Getting the bag of gems from these goofy Sand Genin would be like taking candy from a baby.

Fukuro had a minor doujutsu that allowed her to see in the dark and she beckoned to Tanpopo to take aim with her senbon at certain spots when Jashin sensed their presence and shouted an alarm, Tsuru just barely managed to erect a small wall of sand that deflected the senbon.

Usagi had picked up her scythe and brought it in a downward slashing movement towards Yugasa, the team's medic, who was also skilled with a sword.

Jashin pasted an explosives tag to a small round ball and flung it into the midst of the Mist kunoichi. Forming a hand sign, he caused it to detonate and a thick, awful green fog surrounded the air, causing everyone to gag and hack.

Usagi pinched her nose, her eyes watering from the awful stench.

"Nice going dumb-ass! This crap'll cling to our skin for days!" Usagi said in a strange nasal voice. "Now we won't be able to sneak up on anybody!"

"What kind of a cheap trick is this? It's pathetic!" Tanpopo groaned.

Yugasa began dry heaving.

"Look on the bright side." Said Tsuru, who was trying very hard not to breathe through her nose. "Nobody will wanna come within ten feet of us, so we won't have to worry about getting our gems stolen."

"Wow did you figure that all by yourself?" Fukuro said caustically, waving her hand rapidly in front of her face like a fan. "What a smart girl you are!"

"Hey! You leave my cousin alone! Cause stink or no stink I'll come over there and kick your prissy ass!"

"You know what? I think we've got enough." Complained Tanpopo. "Let's leave these losers to get caught by another team before we do."

"Ugh!"

"Nasty!"

True to Tsuru's prediction, any team that got close enough to get a whiff of them, were immediately put off by the awful stink, it certainly deterred a fight between them and Kakashi's team, and they had made it to their destination by noon the next day, much to the dismay of their very disgusted client. As the Genin gathered around the boards to see who had made the cut, with teams still trudging in, Team 16 were surprised to find that though they had cut it close, they had still made it to the final rounds.

**Team 7 from Waterfall**

**Team 21 from Mist**

**Team 19 from Mist**

**Team 28 from Leaf**

**Team 16 from Sand**

**Team 23 from Leaf**


	6. Kakuzu's Official Initiation

**Chapter Six**

**Kakuzu's Official "Initiation**"

**Author:**

**Let's all spare a thought for poor Kakuzu. **

**XD**

One of the teams from Sand, who came in two days after the deadline saw Team 16 and scowled.

"How did you losers manage to make it to the final rounds?" Haruki asked scornfully.

"Well since you're going to be watching us fighting in the final rounds, that makes you the losers doesn't it? And boy what a bunch of sore losers you are!" Usagi growled.

Akasuna no Akio didn't say anything, he didn't want to offend the one girl he admired so much. Usagi had so much fire and spirit that it inspired him to try and capture her grace and her fierceness in his puppets. He had been trying to get the nerve to ask her out when one of the teams from Mist came by. Usagi, Tsuru and his female teammate Merodi blushed a bright red.

"Wow he's so gorgeous!" Usagi said.

"Yeah." Tsuru giggled.

Merodi Nagano snorted. "Like Shigeru Kawakiri would even look twice at you two!"

"Who?" The girls asked.

"Shigeru Kawakiri! The Mizukage's son?"

The girls scrutinized Shigeru Kawakiri.

"He's cute." Usagi said thoughtfully, "But that's not who I'm talking about! I'm talking about that hunk Kotora Momochi!

"I don't like his eyes. They're too cold and he looks like he doesn't know how to have any fun. I'm talking about Sazanami Minamoto, he's too cute."

Upon hearing this, Sazanami turned around to see that crazy Sand girl wave at him. He blushed. She thought he was cute? That was something new. Every other girl ignored him and went straight for Shigeru or Kotora.

Shigeru smiled sympathetically at the weakest link of his team.

"Wow, the first and probably only time that a girl shows interest in you and she lives far, far away. You've got terrible luck with girls man."

Akio scowled at that. He didn't know that Usagi preferred buff guys. So much for him having a chance.

"Which one's Kotora?" Merodi asked, all animosity momentarily forgotten in favor of boy talk.

"The hunky guy with the sword."

"Not bad, not bad, but that means that the little twerp must be Sazanami. Tsuru, you have no taste." Merodi said.

"I've got taste, it's just not the same as your taste." Tsuru replied in the same haughty tone of voice that Merodi was using.

"Well fine, you've got taste, but it's terrible and I don't want it rubbing off on me. I'm gonna go grab a shower and by the way, I don't know what kinda muck you three little piglets were rolling around in out there but you stink to high heaven!"

"A shower sounds great." Usagi said and she took off running, so she could get in first.

Kakuzu was just going to pick up the brats when they rushed by him and-dear Kami! What was that smell? He wondered, wrinkling his nose as he turned around to walk after them.

"You kissed that Mist kid." Jashin pointed out.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. What's it to ya?"

"I wonder what dad would have to say about that." Said Jashin, taking revenge on his sister the only way he knew how.

"Daddy won't have anything to say about this, because you aren't going to tell him."

Kakuzu's face twisted into something that made him look as though he'd swallowed something unbearably bitter and tart all at the same time. _Daddy?!_ For Kakuzu, Hidan and daddy were two words that should _never _be used together in the same sentence.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tell him." Said Jashin slyly.

"I'll give you five good reasons why you shouldn't tell him!" She growled, grabbing him by the shirt. "One, two, three, four, five." And finger by finger she made a fist.

"Tell you what. You let me take a shower first and I'll never breathe a word to dad that you run around kissing enemy ninja."

Kakuzu groaned mentally. Kami forbid he have to deal with hormonal, bitchy preteen girls.

Usagi snarled wordlessly, knowing she couldn't cow him this time, she was just about to give her conniving big brother what he wanted when they heard the showerhead turn on and they both frowned at the door.

Tsuru had taken the opportunity to sneak into the bathroom first while they had been fighting.

She pounced on her brother just as the door opened. Kakuzu looked at one twin, then at the other before prying them apart.

"Calm yourselves down." He growled, feeling an irritating sense of déjà vu. "In team fighting is not tolerated and you will be punished for it."

Tsuru looked sullenly at him and Jashin scowled at his sister.

The feeling of déjà vu intensified.

He set them down and walked away.

After they had all showered Jashin sat and thought for a while before pulling his cousin aside.

"Hey Tsuru?" Jashin asked.

"What's up Jashin?"

"I wanna pull a prank with you."

Tsuru looked stunned. "You do?:

"On Yashayama sensei."

Tsuru grinned. This was gonna be fun.

Kakuzu needed some peace. Ever since the brats had come back from the survival course they were driving him crazy! He opened the door to his hotel room and reeled back from the awful stench! Scanning the room, one discarded stink bomb caught his eye and Kakuzu growled! He knew Jashin had stink bombs on him before going into the second exam. They were all going to pay and they were going to learn a lesson in the process! He was going to teach those little shits what happened when they pushed "Yashayama-sensei" too far.

Jashin was feeling proud of his very first prank and edgy because really the man was sure to figure things out when he suddenly sensed Yashayama sensei's overpowering chakra behind him. The smile on his face vanished as he turned around to see his new sensei towering over him. Jashin ran for it and Kakuzu followed him into the cafeteria where the Genin were sleepily waiting in line for breakfast. He also caught sight of Usagi and Jashin who quailed when they sensed their sensei's fury.

"You little monsters!" Kakuzu growled in his most terrifying voice. "I'm going to teach you all a lesson!"

They bolted in different directions, only to find Yashayama sensei everywhere. He held the three Genin by the collars of their shirts as though they were naughty pups and marched back upstairs where he flung open the door and threw them in the room. The three Genin gagged and held their noses.

"Now you get this stench out of my room by lunchtime or I'll beat the three of you so badly you'll never be able to take the Chunin exams again! And believe me…I'll know if you try to escape."

Kakuzu wasn't going to beat them, though he was sorely tempted too but they didn't need to know that. It was in his opinion that their previous sensei had let them get way out of hand. He was determined to remedy this! He smiled beneath his mask as the three Genin gulped and immediately set to work on his room, leaving a clone to make sure they got the job done, then he went down to get eat.

.

Usagi had pulled her nose over her shirt in a desperate attempt to keep the smell out.

"Good going Jashin!"

"Shut up! I didn't hear you complain when my stink bombs saved our butts during the survival test!" He retorted angrily,

Kakuzu was sitting down to eat when he noticed a familiar chakra pulse. Kisame sat down next to him, one of the few survivors of the Akatsuki's demise. He had used a transformation jutsu to disguise his appearance but Kakuzu would know his chakra anywhere.

"Fancy seeing you here." The younger man said with a smirk.

Kakuzu snorted and rolled his eyes. He was about to get up and walk away when something caught the missing Kiri nin's attention.

He turned around towards the source of unusual chakra to catch sight of a black-haired, green-eyed girl.

"That's not one of yours is it? I didn't think you were the type to want to father children." Kisame asked in surprise.

Kakuzu glowered at him. The Mist nin was too obnoxious for his own good.

"I can just imagine what you'd say to a woman who wanted any offspring of yours Kami forbid!" He changed his voice to a low deep pitch.

"Children! Why would I want to have children? Do you know how much they cost these days woman?!" Kisame laughed loudly at his own joke.

"She's my student not my damn child." Kakuzu growled irritably. "At least until the exams are over."

That shut Kisame up for a moment. Like Temari he gaped at his old colleague in astonishment.

"You? You're a sensei? Who in their right mind would make you a sensei?"

"I struck a deal with Temari." Kakuzu explained. "That's the Kazekage's daughter and it seems you two share something in common with each other." Said Kakuzu, indicating the black haired girl.

Kisame ignored the jibe, he'd heard the rumors that the Kazekage's child was part demon. But just then something else caught Kisame's attention, the girl's teammates. The blonde boy didn't hold Kisame's interest, but there was something about the silver haired girl that reminded him of someone.

"Its Hidan's brats." He said, remembering the wild tales surrounding the twins. He grinned. "What are they like?" He asked the old man.

Kakuzu groaned, "They're unholy that's for sure! Those twerps set off stink bombs in my room this morning. Tsuru is the mastermind behind all the pranks and of course she recruit's the others to help her. It's the only thing she ever really concentrates on the little birdbrain!"

He sighed in disgust.

"Though her skills could make her a useful Trapper nin if she'd just learn to pay attention."

Kisame roared with laughter at the visual of Kakuzu's face when he got a whiff of homemade stink bombs.

"You didn't let them go unpunished did you?" He asked in amusement.

"Hell no! I made them clean the stink out of my room." He sighed before continuing. "Jashin is the easiest to deal with and for that I'm grateful. But he's a coward, he doesn't like to fight, not even to save his own skin though to his credit he's extremely intelligent and analytical, he's quiet as a mouse and he'd make a good spy if he ever decided to grow a pair.

"A coward?" Kisame was surprised. "I didn't think Hidan would stand for any offspring of his to be a coward. What about his sister?"

"Usagi is just a little mini-Hidan! That girl gets on my nerves more then the other two put together. She's got no common sense. She just jumps right in and doesn't stop to think about her actions! If I could just teach her to think before she acts, she'd make a formidable opponent on the battlefield!" He complained, throwing his hand in the air in exasperation.

Kisame smirked, it sounded like he was already making plans on turning their weaknesses into viable talents and he also had a feeling that he would be around longer then the Chunin exams. Kakuzu could teach them a lot if they were smart enough to pay attention. His knowledge and experience was invaluable. Temperament-wise he would be a living nightmare, though these three were resistant to his black moods which was evident when curious little Tsuru popped up.

"Who's this?" She asked, as though she hadn't spent most of the day getting the stink out of his room.

"None of your business." Kakuzu said in a warning tone.

"Aww don't be like that! You're such a grump sensei." Tsuru chirped teasingly.

Kisame's grin grew wider. The girl had guts! Or a death wish…

Kakuzu began counting to ten, trying to regain control of his temper.

"Your friend's got a smoking bod!" Tsuru said giggling, causing Kisame to choke on his sake.

That…was…it! That was the last straw! Kakuzu went into what Kisame would forever dub as "Angry Grandpa Mode" It was the funniest thing he'd ever seen the Taki nin do and Kakuzu wasn't known for doing _anything_ remotely funny.

"Sabaku no Tsuru! I don't ever want to hear such talk from you again!" He snarled, shaking his finger violently in her unrepentant little face. "You get your scrawny ass back over to the table right now and mind your own damn business!"

Kakuzu grabbed his wayward pupil by the back of her shirt, marched her over to the table and forcefully sat her down.

Kisame chuckled. Oh what he wouldn't give to watch Kakuzu-sensei struggling with his newfound headaches! It wasn't long before the brats amused him yet again. They were sitting there in silence, Kakuzu still grumbling under his breath when there was a commotion from behind them.

"Hey! Did you just throw this at me?!" Demanded an outraged pre-teen voice.

Kakuzu sighed. He knew that his team was at the bottom of it.

"Why yes. Yes I did! You wanna make somethin' of it?" Usagi asked.

Usagi. Of course. Who else would it be? He thought, feeling a fierce headache coming.

There was the sound of a splut and Kisame turned to the right to see one of the Waterfall Genin get hit with a bowl of steamed pudding.

"What the hell?" The muscular youth growled as he took his glass and flung it at the offending party.

Kakuzu's kids ducked simultaneously and the red liquid hit a pixyish looking Mist kunoichi in the head. She picked up a bun and was about to chuck it when another girl took it from her hand and said in a haughty voice.

"Let's not get involved in such _childish antics _Tanpopo_."_

"Yeah you shouldn't get involved Mist. Wouldn't wanna dislodge that stick up your ass." Usagi called out cheerfully.

"True." Added Tsuru, "Besides a bunch of prissy little Mist kunoichi like you couldn't hack it in a real food fight anyways!"

Tanpopo the blonde-haired girl bristled, grabbed the bun from her teammate's hand, flung it at them and hit Tsuru squarely in the face, asking sardonically

"You call this a food fight?"

"Food fight?" The Uzumaki boy asked. "Foood Fiiiiiight!" He roared and happily flung a sweet bun at one of the Leaf nin. The cafeteria erupted as food went flying. Most of the Genin shrieked with laughter or outrage. Kakuzu groaned and began to slink out of the cafeteria, honestly! These brats were enough to make him want to quit….if he didn't need the money so badly anyways.


	7. Unlocking Secrets

**Chapter 7**

**Unlocking Secrets**

Kakuzu was in an intense training session with his team. He had three months to whip them into shape for the final rounds and he was now forcing them to work on their weaknesses. Usagi was resentfully studying battle tactics and analysis scrolls. Tsuru was being forced to do meditations to teach her how to calm and focus her scattered mind. Jashin was undergoing a brutal sparring lesson with him, he had finally begun to get the boy to fight back, though he was still cringing and dodging his attacks more then he was using his fists.

Kakuzu finally lost his temper with the boy. "I think you need to pack it up and go home Jashin!" He said vehemently.

Jashin looked up at him petulantly.

"I've never seen a more cowardly ninja in all my life!" Kakuzu growled.

Jashin felt his own temper beginning to boil at his sensei's words. He was sick of it! Sick of being called a coward by his parents, his sister, his classmates-everybody! One of these days he was going to prove them wrong! He-

Tsuru who was closest to him let out a yelp and scrambled away. Jashin hissed in pain at the hot steam that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. He also noticed that Yashayama sensei was giving him a strange look.

"_But that's"-_Kakuzu thought.

"Jashin do you realize what you just did?"

Jashin bristled for a moment before realizing that his sensei didn't seem upset with him.

"That's a Steam Jutsu. The only ninja capable of doing it were from Yuugakure no Sato."

Kakuzu frowned, he knew Hidan was from Yuugakure. He had been the only person in Akatsuki to recognize that symbol. He also knew Hidan could not do that jutsu and being an orphan meant that Hidan had no idea what kind of techniques his family was capable of, or what he was capable of passing down to his offspring. So why hadn't this technique emerged until now? Looking around him, Kakuzu had his answer. The air in Suna was too dry for Jashin to be able to pull out any moisture from it, so it shouldn't be a big mystery that it had emerged in Kiri.

Jashin blanched a little, hoping fervently that his sharp-minded sensei wouldn't put two and two together and connect him with his dad. He was sure plenty of people knew who his dad was. His little sister was a living testament to that, but they didn't need anyone to figure out who his mom's _husband _really was.

"That technique is all but extinct boy. You need to learn to control and fine-tune it. Otherwise you could scald us all with it and the judges won't be pleased with your lack of control."

He turned towards Tsuru who was ruefully rubbing her arm.

"Tsuru! I need you to make a ball of sand and fill it with water. It needs to have a hole at the top to be able to let the steam escape."

"Ok sensei."

In a few moments Tsuru had made a ball out of her hardest sand and had pulled the mist from the air, condensing it and turning it back into regular water.

Jashin rolled his eyes. "Show off." He muttered.

She grinned at him. "Can I help Jashin with his water techniques Yashayama sensei?" She asked, excitedly.

Kakuzu frowned, he could see that she was trying to get out of meditating. "No. What you can do is go back to your meditation." He said sternly.

"Aww man." She grumbled, stuck her tongue out at him and plopped down in the soft sand to resume her meditation.

Jashin worked for three hours to try and make steam come out of his little ball. It was a lot more difficult since no one could teach him how to do it. He tried molding his chakra to make the water boil, but all he managed to do was make it churn and bubble and he'd lost most of the water the first few times. He had no idea how to change its temperature.

While Yashayama sensei was drilling Usagi with theoretical battle tactics, Tsuru brought out her sand and formed it into words, Inner Fire.

Jashin understood, he remembered when they had done their survival training in the desert with Baki sensei and had learned a jutsu to help keep their body temperatures up.

He began molding his chakra but instead of putting it into his body he put into the water, this was a mistake since hot water splashed on his hands. He hissed and dropped the sand ball.

His cousin looked very thoughtful at the construct's design. Her brow furrowed as she tried to wrap her mind around a way that would let the steam out without burning him. Ah ha! She had an idea. She snatched the ball out of her nonplussed cousin's hands and began fiddling with it until it resembled a round splatter guard.

"Tsuru! Get back to your meditation! You need to learn how to focus." Kakuzu reminded her irritably.

She stuck her tongue out again when his back was turned.

"Tsuru." He warned.

"What did you see? Your back was turned!" She cried, waving her hands in the air.

"I have eyes in the back of my head." He said caustically.

"Really? Cool! Can I see?" She asked, thinking it was a kekkai genkai.

"Meditation!"

"But-"

"Now!"

Jashin had to admit, it was a very clever design and though a few drops of hot water did escape, it wasn't enough to deter him. He shot her a grateful smile and she grinned and winked back. It was one of the reasons he didn't totally dislike his cousin, sure she was closer to Usagi and she was a lot closer to Jiraiya as well, who was practically family anyways, but she was thoughtful enough to help him out when he needed it.

The next morning, she woke him up and he stared groggily at her.

"Tsuru? What's going on?"

"Shh! We're gonna go out and practice that jutsu. Meet me in the hallway in ten minutes."

With that, she walked back out the door.

Jashin was a little suspicious, it always paid to be suspicious when dealing with his squirrelly cousin, most of his family had long gotten in the habit of checking for any of her silly pranks in there clothes, there drawers, the windows and doorways. The two exceptions to this were his father who forgot to check half the time and Uncle Kankuro, who never got pranked. So after a thorough checking of everything from the doorframe to his underwear, he crept out into the hall and found her waiting for him with an excited grin.

"Ya ready?" She asked.

He nodded.

"Good." And she dragged him out into the cold, misty air.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"Cause, I think there are times when I don't do enough for you." She explained cheerfully.

"Now pay attention, I'm gonna make a giant ball of water and you are gonna make it steam."

"But…won't you get burned?"

"Nah! I'm gonna use a Sand clone so I don't get burned."

She came up in front of him and worked on the seals, instantly, the compact water ball began to steam and bubble and churn.

Once Jashin began to make it do that without seriously burning either of them, she began to form the water into a Water Prison.

"Great idea for making the enemies crap their pants huh?"

She asked with a grin.

"You're a sicko." He grumbled half-heartedly, but she was right, it was a good idea.

"Behold! Into the Boiling Pot Jutsu!" She cried, and then began streaming the water.

"Once I master the basic shapes can you teach me how to do the Water Prison and the streams and stuff?"

"Sure! Well… I'll try anyways."

"Aren't you worried that Yashayama sensei will catch you?"

"No. He only told me not to do it yesterday, he never said I couldn't do it any other day. Don't be such a worry-wart Jashin."

"Oh." He muttered, turning red.

Later on that day while he was having Usagi use basic attack strategies, he noticed that Tsuru wasn't around for her daily meditation. Disgruntled, he left a shadow clone to work with her and went to go search for the brat. Dammit! Didn't she understand the concept of stay with your team? Apparently not. Hidden Mist was no place for a happy-go-lucky little squirt like her to go running around unsupervised in. He had every intention of beating her to a pulp when he found her.

When he did find, he found her dancing with a bunch of civilian kids and for someone who was only mediocre at tai jutsu she was a pretty talented dancer and Kakuzu's mind began whirring. Most kunoichi these days had become more obsessed with brute strength instead of deadly grace. Only some of the older clans or those taught by kunoichi a little closer to his age, it was a rarity to find any shinobi past their thirties, bothered to learn this combination of dancing and martial arts. Combined with her sand jutsu, courtesy of the now sealed Shukaku, this would make for an interesting talent to develop.

"Tsuru!" He barked.

She turned around with this look in her eyes that said; "Uh oh." Grinned sheepishly at him, told the other kids good bye and practically minced over to him.

"I'm in trouble huh?" She asked.

Well, it was good to know he intimidated her a little. She didn't seem to be scared by much of anything really.

"Maybe. You know how to dance?"

"Yeah. And I know what you're gonna say next." She said defensively. Catching him off guard a little. Of all his students, she seemed to be the most good natured and upbeat.

"How can someone so poor at taijutsu be such a good dancer? And you're a kunoichi you shouldn't waste energy on that foolish crap! Blah blah blah!"

"No."

"No what?" She asked, evidently confused.

"Kunoichi back in the old days as well as quite a few male ninja as well could successfully combine dancing and martial arts. You are going to learn how to combine all of the above with your sand attacks. This will not only help you to master taijutsu and coordination properly, but it will help you fine tune your control over sand."

Her face lit up and she didn't waste anytime in disobeying him as she headed back to her teammates and began practicing. First she created a genjutsu that she wrapped herself in and then began trying out some basic moves of her dance while struggling to use her sand, the attempt failed miserably but she was determined enough to keep her out of his hair for hours, giving him time to work with the twins.

"You have to stand firm." Kakuzu said as one of his "weaker punches" sent Jashin flying.

"That's difficult to do when you're getting pounded into the ground sensei."

Jashin groaned as he spat blood from his mouth.

Kakuzu went on the attack again, though he forced himself to hold back. Temari wouldn't pay him if he knocked her son into a coma.

"Block it boy! Block it!" He commanded. "Don't dodge so much."

"Don't ask him to do the impossible sensei. Jashin will always dodge like the little coward he is." Usagi snickered.

Kakuzu threw a small kunai in her direction and it caught her cheek, droplets of blood spattered the sharp blade of her scythe and her hiss of pain was satisfying to his ears.

"I didn't ask for your opinion Usagi."

"You're going to attack me now boy. Come at me with everything you've got."

Jashin hesitated. His sensei was an intimidating man and he wasn't keen about attacking him. But he hated to disappoint people, so he took a deep breath and went on the offensive.

Bit by bit the boy was getting a little bolder. Kakuzu thought. He also happened to notice that Jashin's Taijutsu style was becoming a pale imitation of his own, passed down from all the members of the Wakahisa that came before him and all that would come after. It looked a bit strange seeing it on someone else, since the members of his clan were all unusually tall and Jashin was such a runt.

In an attempt to do improve his Taijutsu, the boy was doing an exact imitation, making his steps too wide for his short legs and that left him off balance and open to attack.

"No. Stop. Not like that." Kakuzu impatiently readjusted him so that the movements would feel more natural to the boy.

"Come at me again as I showed you."

Jashin complied, adjusting himself to match his stature, but to anyone who knew him or his clan intimately, the distinctive movements designed to complement the unique Kekkai Genkai of the Wakahisa were still glaringly obvious.

Jashin attempted that special chakra-powered punch that Kakuzu had shown him and the man almost wanted to laugh at how pitiful it was, on the other hand it was an improvement as the boy tried harder to stand against him, the reach of his kicks and stances were still a bit too wide for him and Kakuzu hoped that sooner or later he would hit a growth spurt. But then again, he could be looking at it from the wrong angle.

"Usagi! Come spar with your brother." Kakuzu commanded, "And leave your scythe there." He added as an afterthought.

"Gladly." She said.

"Begin." He said and watched them spar.

It was interesting, though his sister was taller then he was, she was clearly close enough to his height so that his newly acquired longer reaches had two desired effects. The boy hated getting close in a fight and this was keeping Usagi's aggressive Taijutsu (he could see Hidan's stamp all over her movements) at a more favorable distance for him, it also bolstered his confidence, though Jashin was intelligent enough not to let it swell his head. Jashin is like me. Kakuzu realized. He has to think his way through a fight. What I have to do is teach him how to be more aggressive and he'll do well.

He ended the lesson by making the three of them stretch out and sit down to meditate. Meditation, he thought irritably, was a vital skill that the younger crowd was abandoning more and more often these days. Well, let all the other little snots abandon it! His little snots were going to learn that meditation was a boon.

Much to his private delight, the whole thing had left them very tired and they ate, climbed showered and promptly climbed into bed.

The next day as Kakuzu was meditating he sensed Tsuru behind him.

"Yashayama sensei! I wanna spar with you." A cheerful female voice called out.

"_Oh no." _thought Kakuzu unhappily. Tsuru willingly wanting to work on her Taijutsu could mean nothing good. She'd had to have set up a prank somewhere. He turned his attention to Tsuru who was alone. Her cousins were nowhere to be found.

"What Tsuru?" He grumbled. Hoping his trouble-making student would take the hint from his tone of voice. No such luck. Not that he'd expected her too.

"C'mon c'mon there's something I need your help with!" Tsuru danced around impatiently.

Kakuzu sighed, got up and walked with her.

"What do you need help with?" He asked.

For an answer she gathered her sand and began making it flow over her body, breaking each one up into smaller rings and crisscrossed her body and then began flowing around her body and then she cast a genjutsu.

Kakuzu grit his teeth when he realized she was imitating him. With the sand made to look like his black threads, coupled with her black hair and pale green eyes she could almost pass as a member of his clan.

"I have a confession to make sensei." She said.

Kakuzu waited.

"I know your not really a retired Jounin."

Kakuzu stilled but said nothing, he'd be damned if he gave anything away to a mere Genin.

"I've always known I guess. Though I'm pretty sure my cousins don't know. I could see through your transformation jutsu on the first day. It's the tanuki blood in me you know, I can see through illusions automatically, not just make them. But don't worry sensei, your secret's safe with me."

"You don't believe me huh?" She asked when he said nothing. "Well you've got long black hair and green eyes with no pupils and they glow which makes them really cool! And you've got black threads all through your body and your three inches taller at least."

Kakuzu glowered at the brat, of all of the members of his team he had thought might find him out, he would have placed his money metaphorically speaking, on Jashin. But Tsuru? "And why didn't you tell anyone what you saw?" He asked.

"Cause Aunt Temari trusts you-and she told me to keep quiet about it.

The statement was simple and naive and Kakuzu almost wanted to laugh at the girl. It was amazing, he thought. These kids were so used to being around missing nin that they didn't even bother telling anyone about it the little traitors. "And why are you choosing to use a bastardized version of my kekkai genkai in the final rounds?"

Perceiving that she was out of immediate danger, Tsuru gave him a cocky grin and said, "Because it so fits in with my sand! Duh! C'mon sensei lets fight!

While Gaara had had to work hard to make the whole desert his weapon and shield, Tsuru who had a more direct line to Shukaku didn't have to put much effort into it. Gathering the sand from the beach, she formed a long heavy tail and those strange rounded gloves that Kakuzu had seen civilians use for their pitiful boxing matches.

She started off with a spinning kick and Kakuzu noticed that her tail swung with her, forcing him to jump out of its way, feeling a surge of chakra he was forced to leap up again to avoid the spike trap she'd set for him.

Very clever. He thought, easily dodging the padded "boxing glove" as she dove in, punching for all she was worth, he saw her foot twist, a sure sign that there was a quicksand trap nearby. He saw the swirling sand and avoided it, until he found himself sinking. Oh a genjutsu? She'd really put some thought into this today. Using a substitution jutsu he got himself out of the sand and punched the brat hard, she went flying but managed to grin cheekily at him and Kakuzu found himself facing a large scorpion made out of sand.

So here he was dodging sharpened claws and an equally sharp stinger, he also had to dodge Tsuru and her various traps. Her Taijutsu was coming along better then Jashin's was. The use of her sand threads as she called them made her Taijutsu style unique. It was a bit of a mishmash though, there was no specific style that she drew from. Making it to difficult to predict and he had to admit, he was pleased.

Though Kakuzu could have gone on a lot longer, it was time to call this little lesson to an end. She was thinking like a Trapper Nin more and more, he mused as he watched all of her sand separating itself from the beach sand and for the first time since he'd met the little terror he had something nice to say about her. With an approving nod he looked her in the eye and said.

"Good."

He was about to turn away when he saw that she was glowing from his compliment and for the second time that day he experienced that mutual teacher-student feeling of satisfaction born from a sense of accomplishment.

"Isn't it time for your meditation Tsuru?" He grumbled. She grinned and dashed off, not at all put off by his nasty growl.

**Authoress:**

**Ahh Kakuzu.**

**In typical old man fashion is beginning to bitch about the youth of today.**

**But at least he's beginning to get results and stuff. Hope I'm not making the kids**

**too Mary Sue/Gary Stew-ish.**


	8. Acclimating

**Chapter Eight **

**Acclimating **

Kakuzu was a patient man. A lot more patient then most people gave him credit for. You had to have a lot of patience to be a bounty hunter and apparently, it took a lot of patience to keep him from putting them all in the hospital. He had to break up fights between the twins several times a day. Usagi and Tsuru would do or say something, usually something stupid and Jashin would make a snide remark under her breath, which pissed off Usagi who would attack him.

In some warped and twisted way, it reminded him of him and Hidan back in the Akatsuki and he supposed that Tsuru would be a smarter variation of Tobi.

Regardless of the eerie similarities, he persevered and began working them to the bone everyday so they would have little time to play pranks. He was certainly never the type of person to do a job half-assed and he was going to attempt to instill his hard working ethics into the Genin before he left them and he had already figured out some of the tricks to keep them going. Whereas Baki and their other teachers had been trying to fit them into a preconceived mold, Kakuzu allowed them their individual quirks so long as he saw use for it. It was a tactic he'd actually learned from being in the Akatsuki.

Tsuru had a silly grin on her face as she tugged Jashin into her genjutsu and they began a slow taijutsu drill. Usagi had sprained her arm pretty badly the other day and needed a couple days to recover, so she was supposed to be sitting down to a Shogi match with her sensei to build tactical skills. He was just getting ready to start when Jashin started laughing. Tsuru joined in, sea green eyes sparkling with good humor and Kakuzu wondered what was so funny. He didn't think he'd ever understand that girl. He turned his attention back to the game and explained the rules to a bored looking Usagi and started the game.

Usagi had picked up a few basic skills in tactics and planning, which proved to Kakuzu that she didn't have a one track mind, like Hidan did. But then she began tapping her feet and humming and Kakuzu heard…music behind him. Tsuru had extended her genjutsu bubble and Usagi got up and began dancing with her cousin. It was some kind of upbeat foreign music he couldn't understand the words too. Of course. He shouldn't be surprised.

Tanpopo, Fukuro and Yugasa were passing by and sneered.

"Hey this is the Chunin Exams not a dance contest." Yugasa said.

"Those kids are pathetic. If this is what the future has in store for Hidden Sand, I feel sorry for them." Tanpopo snorted.

Fukuro shook her head.

"Hey it's not our fault that you don't know how to have fun while training. I'll even show you one of my moves." Offered Tsuru cheerfully and began spinning her sand tail until it was thin and whip like and proceeded to snap Yugasa on the butt with it. The girl let out a surprised shriek and Usagi snickered.

Fukuro covered her grin with her hand.

Kakuzu grit his teeth.

"That's my variation of the wet towel. I call it…the Sand Towel."

"How dare you!" Yugasa growled and began chasing the laughing girl towards the lake.

Tsuru charged right into the water, Usagi hot on their heels. Unfortunately for them, neither knew how to water walk and the Mist girl had a better advantage. This didn't stop either of them from forcing her into a water fight, with his girls shrieking with laughter and the Mist girl shrieking with outrage.

By this time, Fukuro and Tanpopo were laughing and Tanpopo who wanted to join in more for the sake of fun then to help her snobby teammate joined in on the fun.

Hotaru Shinchuha, a young, slender woman with long orange hair and equally bright orange eyes had come looking for her tardy team.

"Girls! It's time for training-what in the world are you doing? Yugasa! Tanpopo! Get out of the water! Fukuro just don't stand their laughing get to the training grounds!"

Yugasa came out fuming. Tanpopo was grinning madly. Hotaru-sensei scowled at Kakuzu.

"It's bad enough that you allow your team to run buck-wild, but you've got no business corrupting everyone else's team." She said frostily.

Kakuzu turned to the woman, who backed up a little when she felt his chakra flare dangerously.

"I do not allow my team to run wild. As for your team, they are your responsibility."

She got the hint and stalked away.

He studied his Genin. Since there were two teams from Kiri and one team from Taki competing there was bound to be at least one Genin with a strong water affinity, he needed to remedy the fact that they could not walk on water, right after he forced Usagi to finish her game and punished Tsuru for being a brat.

"Tsuru, for your disruptive behavior you can go run fifty laps around the lake."

"Fifty laps! Are you serious?" She whined.

"Tsuru…" He warned.

"Ok ok!" She began running around the lake in her soggy clothes, squelching all the way.

After their game and Tsuru's fifty laps, Kakuzu introduced them to water walking. Not surprisingly, they fell in the water a lot more then they stayed on top of it. Kakuzu was not amused at how soaked he ended up getting when it was over, especially since a lot of it was deliberate. He'd forgotten that Tsuru had an affinity for water herself and her miniature tidal wave had been the last straw. He had forced her into a vicious spar as punishment, perhaps one of the few ways he could get back at them without making it look obvious. She was limping behind him, that same idiotic grin plastered to her face, despite having a black eye and a twisted ankle.

The next day he found the girls goofing off with some kids from Leaf.

"Ok fine, but why do I need to use a hula hoop to do this jutsu?" Jiraiya asked.

_Why the hell was she teaching a jutsu to an enemy ninja? _Kakuzu thought. _He needed to have a little talk with her about this._

"You don't need it all the time, you dork. I used the hula hoops as a prop so my chakra can be molded right. Look see, your chakra travels from your feet, up your torso, and past your arms in one super cool vortex of energy. It's not my fault that Tsuru can't stop moving her hips when she does it."

"That's why you should call it Hula Hips Jutsu." Tsuru said.

"Dammit! It's my jutsu and I'll name it whatever the hell I want!" Usagi growled.

"Yeah c'mon! I mean can you imagine yelling that to some creepy S-Class nin in the middle of an epic battle?" Jiraiya said with a grin.

He imitated Tsuru swiveling her hips and twirling her wrists and shouted.

"Beware my Hula Hips jutsu!" Jiraiya said, striking a dramatic pose at the end "Like hell that'll ever happen." Usagi grumbled.

"It sounds really cool and stuff Usagi-chan, but there's no way I'm gonna hula hoop. That's kid stuff."

"Yeah whatever. Just watch."

She made the hand signs for it and a vortex of chakra made Tadashi slam into the tree trunk.

Jiraiya grinned and Tadashi scowled.

"Was that really necessary?" The Nara boy asked as he got back up and rubbed his sore back.

"Awesome! Ok load me up!"

Tsuru obliged by tossing him large sand rings and Usagi showed him how to work the hula hoops on his waist and arms.

"Now, once you got the rhythm down, start working your chakra up." Usagi told him.

Kakuzu had to admit that it wasn't a bad little jutsu for Usagi, but he was a little pissed that she was teaching it to a potential opponent when the Final Rounds were only a couple weeks away.

"Check this out Raiya-kun, I can use it with my sand techniques." Tsuru called. "I'll bet with a lot of practice you could use it with fire."

"Yeah that'd be sweet! Hey Tadashi! I'll bet that would look totally awesome with your shadows and stuff." Jiraiya said.

"That wouldn't work with my shadow possession jutsu you idiot. I use shadows, I don't create them." Tadashi retorted. "And besides I'm _not _hula hooping."

"That's cause your too fricken lazy to hula hoop." Jiraiya shot back.

"No, it's because it's sissy girly stuff." Tadashi snapped.

Usagi looked pissed.

"Are you saying that girls are sissy?" She growled.

"No. That's not what I'm saying."Tadashi tried to defend himself.

"That's what you said. I'll show you sissy!"

"Whoa, relax Usagi-chan. He just stuck his foot in his mouth that's all." Jiraiya said consolingly.

"Yeah, this coming from the guy who's foot has a permanent address to his mouth." Tadashi sniped.

"Hey! I just helped you out you ungrateful jerk and this is how you treat me? Next time I'll let Usagi-chan pound you!" Jiraiya barked.

"Tsuru! Usagi it's time to train."

When they were far enough away Kakuzu glared at Usagi.

"What were you thinking teaching an enemy ninja your jutsu? You do know that the Final Rounds are next week don't you?"

The two looked at him, then at each other and laughed.

"Enemy ninja? Are you serious sensei?" Usagi asked.

"Nah! Not Jiraiya! He's like one of the family and even if we did fight him, it'd be totally cool anyways." Tsuru said gaily.

Kakuzu shook his head and decided to let the little brats find out the hard way.

Several hours of water walking didn't have very good results and Kakuzu was not surprised, it wasn't an easy jutsu to master, but he was going to make them work at it until they got it down. Usagi was standing up longer than the other two, but she had trouble walking. Tsuru wobbled on the water and Jashin couldn't stay up at all. But eventually they got good enough to walk across the water, but they couldn't run or use taijutsu on it yet. Kakuzu could only hope that they didn't fight anyone with powerful water based attacks as the last week before the Final Rounds drew to a close.

After three months of Kakuzu's hard training, he felt they stood a decent chance…of winning? He wasn't quite sure about that. Of becoming Chunin? Not likely. Of putting on a good show and making it out alive? Definitely. Mist of course was having the traditional festival and the kids were out having a good time.

Usagi was busy flirting with that Momochi kid, Jashin was eating his food, Tsuru was out dancing with those little civilian snots. Though they all had to be in by nine and no later, he'd told them. The kids were so surprised that he, who was a stickler for rigid, demanding training day in and day out, had let them go have a bit of fun, that they all did exactly as they were told and without a word of complaint.

The girls were still "pumped" and Jashin was beginning to become a nervous wreck just thinking about tomorrow. So he sat their asses down and made them meditate, something Tsuru had never quite mastered, Usagi was only _just _beginning to get the hang of and Jashin did decently at. The meditations of course were interrupted by Kakuzu growling at Tsuru to quit giggling and focus, but eventually they all calmed down enough to go to bed.

**Author's Note:**

**And that's it for chapter eight.**

**The next three chapters**

**Will be all about the final rounds.**

**That's three action-packed rounds per chapter.**

**I've drawn the names out of a hat at random and I hope**

**You guys will enjoy it.**

**Ciao!**


	9. Final Rounds Pt One

**Chapter Nine **

**Final Rounds Pt. One**

The arena was finally full and all the spectators eyed the announcement board, eager to see what this crop of young ninja would be able to bring to the table as the new Mizukage, Hiromi Kawakiri a deadly and stunning woman with thick black hair and ice blue eyes began the opening speech.

Kakuzu and Kisame were perched on top of the roof to avoid getting caught and Kisame who had come to see what the kids could do, was quickly beginning to irritate him.

"So, do you think one of your brats will get into one of the first three rounds?"

"I don't know." Kakuzu snorted.

"Do you wanna make bets?" He goaded.

"No." Kakuzu said quickly.

The names began to flip, spinning so rapidly that not even the Hyuuga could tell who it was going to stop on. The Genin waited impatiently in the stands. Sniggering, posturing and making bets on who was going to be first and who was going to kick whose ass when finally it stopped.

**Tsuru vs. Sazanami Minamoto**

Usagi snorted, "Well well, look at that. Your match is first and you're up against your little boyfriend."

Tsuru gave her cousin a solemn look. "Just in case I die out there, there's somethin I gotta ask Usagi."

Usagi had certainly never seen her cousin so somber and leaned in, a worried frown on her face.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Well…I just wanna know…did you really kiss Kotora-kun?"

Sazanami and Shigeru stared at their blushing, scowling teammate and Usagi grabbed her.

"Tsuru! Get your scrawny ass down to the arena and quit asking me stupid questions!"

Tsuru gave her cousin a half-sheepish, half-cheeky grin and was down in the arena in a flurry of sand.

Kakuzu grumbled resentfully. "The first match hasn't even started and the little shits are already making spectacles of themselves.

Kisame grinned, "Yeah. But don't forget that they're your little shits!"

"Shut up." He retorted half-heartedly.

"Hmph. So the tanuki brat's up first? What the hell's up with that?" Hidan remarked to Temari irritably.

Temari shot him a look, a look that said _behave_. And Hidan folded his arms with a scowl and grudgingly shut up.

Sazanami, who had a slight, lean build, black hair and eyes the color of mercury made it to the arena floor and got into a fighting stance, only half-listening while the proctor explained the rules. The boy felt a little conflicted.

On one hand, she didn't look very strong and he didn't want to piss off the one girl who had ever had a crush on him, on the other hand, he was a little tired of being the weak link of the team and didn't want to lose to her.

Kumiko-sensei, who was one of only two female members of the original Seven Swordsmen and aptly named The Venom of the Bloody Mist, would be absolutely furious if she suspected he lost to her because of that. So he might as well give it his all.

He tried to analyze what he knew about her. She was the Kazekage's daughter, which meant she used sand attacks, so water-based attacks would be very effective in turning them into a big pile of useless mush.

The first day he'd met her, she had used a genjutsu on him and while he didn't think she had started working with more subtle types of genjutsu, he couldn't afford to get too cocky.

She also appeared to have no killer instinct and despite being part demon, no feeling of bloodlust and he didn't think she could move very fast with that big gourd on her back. That gave him an advantage since he was the fastest member of his team

She was also, to use Kotora's exact words, goofy as hell and, he thought with a small smile, pretty cute.

He dodged to the right as a sand wave came after him and he remembered Kumiko-sensei's advice. She had always told him to observe as much as you could and test out some of the boundaries of your opponent first.

Her sand attack was decent, though she did seem to have a little difficulty controlling large quantities.

She leaped over him and kicked him, he ducked and almost tripped over her…well tail.

She swept it back around and did a spinning kick, tail and all which caused him to duck, then he grabbed her leg and made her fall. Then kicked her hard. She grabbed his foot and flung him, making two sand clones. He made two water clones and had them run through them, they went mushy and Tsuru was forced to dispel them. Making hand signs she forced Sazanami towards quicksand, but he danced over it as easily as if it were solid ground.

Tsuru frowned while dodging a barrage of shuriken. This wasn't working.

"He's testing you. Think girl think." Kakuzu muttered to himself.

"C'mon Tsuru beat his ass!" Usagi shouted.

Ok, so this guy had an affinity for water huh? Well she could always use it now, but…Yashayama sensei and Baki sensei had always extolled the element of surprise, so she'd keep that to herself for now, she thought as used her sand fist to punch him hard in the chin, than whipped it around to trip him up and make him fall, but he dodged that too, back flipping away several times and sticking to the wall, hunched over on all fours.

Tsuru grit her teeth, she didn't know how to wall walk yet, so as long as he was up there he was safe.

The fighting was slow and awkward and she just wasn't feeling the flow, she couldn't get into the zone and it was definitely gonna cost her the match. The flow! She needed to get into the flow! She formed hand signs, making her sand threads and one grabbed his ankle and brought him down hard enough on his back to knock the wind out of him.

She hissed in annoyance as the water clone dissolved and a shuriken caught her in the pants, she had spooked as she felt the blade catch her skin…and her pants, making a lovely rip on her pants and a stinging one on her butt cheek.

She stood there for a moment, totally mortified as the people in the stands blinked and than began to laugh.

"Ha! What comes around goes around!" Usagi shouted.

It was like a light bulb had gone off in his daughter's head. Gaara noticed, while he tried to keep from elbowing Naruto who was snickering quietly. He had no idea what she had in mind but it was sure to be interesting. He thought as the Mist boy performed a hand seal and blanketed the arena in a dense fog.

A few minutes later and he felt her chakra, happy, bubbly, but with a streak of Shukaku's chakra that offset it, making it thick and heavy and more menacing than his child could ever hope to be. It made the hairs on the back of many ninjas' necks prickle in warning and after several long minutes, the fog had lightened to a very light mist.

"That bird brain!" Kakuzu growled. "She had perfectly good cover and she ruined it."

Kisame had to agree with Kakuzu, but what he wanted to know was how she had managed to evaporate the fog like that, and how she was managing to stream it into the ground underneath her. It apparently shocked the hell out of her opponent as he stood there slack-jawed and he could hear the surprised murmuring of other Mist residents.

A clone stood next to her, sand threads extending remarkably fast and they caught Sazanami and wrapped themselves around him, letting her sand clone reel him in like a big fish.

The clone than half merged with her and Tsuru and Sazanami sunk into the ground which was now filled with sandy water.

The spectators all leaned forward, determined not to a miss what was going to happen. Than the ground began to rumble and a geyser shot both combatants up into the air, Tsuru had ducked into a flip and extended her leg to slam Sazanami in the head as gravity took over.

Tsuru landed clumsily onto the ground, straining the muscles in her hand and wrist while water and clumps of mushy sand fell around them.

The proctor ran his hand through his hair to rid himself of the wet sand and studied Sazanami who was out cold.

"And the winner is Tsuru!"

There was a moment of stunned silence before the crowd burst into applause and Tsuru smiled shakily as she stood up and took a bow.

"Well, it may not have been as bloody as I like, especially coming from the Kazekage's demon child, but it was certainly entertaining." One Mist Jounin remarked to his teammate thoughtfully.

"Yeah Tsuru! That's my girl!" Naruto whooped.

Gaara shook his head in amusement at his best friend's antics as he clapped. The way Naruto was acting, you'd think Tsuru was his daughter.

"Well I'll be damned. The tanuki brat actually won." Hidan told Temari.

"Hell yeah Tsuru!" Usagi cheered loudly.

"Huh. The kid won. You surprised?" Kisame asked Kakuzu.

Kakuzu slanted his eyes at the shark nin, but didn't answer.

Tsuru climbed up the stairs and found a good place to plop her ass down and began to doze off. She knew it was a dumb thing to do in the middle of enemy territory, in a stairwell where no one could see her, but the evaporation jutsu always took a lot out of her and with the geyser and the clone and everything…she was so tired. Tsuru was asleep in a matter of minutes.

Everybody waited impatiently as Tsuru and Sazanami's names were removed and it began to spin.

**Kappa Midoriki vs. Zetsumyou Lee**

Kappa Midoriki was short, but muscular. His messy hair was a vibrant shade of grass green, that stuck up in the air and his black eyes gleamed with excitement as he studied the Leaf kunoichi standing confidently in front of him. His main talent was tai jutsu and he'd spied on the Leaf team while they'd been training. He'd been hoping for a chance to fight her.

Zetsumyou noticed with amusement that they seemed to be a kind of color swap of each other.

They each took their stances and when they were given the go ahead they rushed at each other, she kicked and he blocked.

She flipped over his head and he whirled around, aiming a heavy punch at her gut, she grabbed his hand, and he twisted his body to break her grip.

She spun with him and he forcefully flung her on the ground. She caught his head with her legs and jerked him down and sideways. He pried her legs away from his head and was up in a flash.

"Woo hoo! Go Zetsumyou go! Show your opponent your youthful fighting spirit!" Lee hooted at his daughter.

Zetsumyou rushed Kappa who turned his shoulder so that she would roll across his back. Zetsumyou neatly caught herself, somersaulted and was back on her feet in a moment as the two went at each other in a furious flash of fists.

"Kick his ass Zets!" Jiraiya cheered.

The Genins' enthusiasm was infectious to the crowd and they were cheering loudly, since the two were evenly matched and the battle was fast paced.

"Let the flames of youth empower you! Let the _flames_ of _youth_ empower you!" Lee chanted over and over like a mantra.

Zetsumyou did a round house and Kappa's clone disappeared.. He appeared behind her and the arena filled with about three feet of water. He was in his element now and he slipped under the water like a crocodile, grabbed Zetsumyou and dragged her under.

She panicked as water went up her nose and coughed and sputtered as it went into her throat, thrashing and kicking and trying to break free of his strong grip.

Than she did a very familiar move, one she remembered all too well from Lee's own unofficial match against Sasuke.

"Dancing Leaf Shadow." Sakura muttered.

The medic was absolutely furious as she watched her second daughter's wraps unravel and bind themselves around her opponent, she kicked up and up and up, defying gravity, grabbing him and spinning in mid air as they barreled down towards the ground, hitting it with enough force to create a mixture of dust and spray, that formed the distinctive shape of a lotus.

"Rock Lee." She snarled.

Lee knew he was in trouble with his lovely wife. She only called him by his full name when she was very angry with him.

"Did you teach her how to open her inner gates?"

Lee began sweating.

"No." He said.

She relaxed a little.

"Good. Now promise me that you will not ever teach her and you won't allow anyone else to teach her either."

"I promise." Lee said, holding his hand up in an honorable gesture.

Sakura was more than satisfied as she turned back to watch the match. She knew Lee's word was as good as gold.

Luckily for Kappa, he had landed in the hole that that weird Sand girl had made, otherwise he would have seriously screwed up his spine from the terrifying force of the jutsu

Zetsumyou groaned as Kappa closed in on her. She didn't have her dad's stamina, or his evil thing for pain and she could only try to defend despite her screaming muscles. One well placed kick to the head and she was down for the count. The crowd cheered wildly. Hoping that the next match would be at least as brutal as this one.

"And the winner is Kappa Midoriki."

"Even if she lost." Lee said sniffling, "I am still proud that she fought so well." "Oh Sakura! Did you see how youthfully our delightful Zetsumyou fought?"

With that he burst into tears on Sakura's shoulder and she shook her head and patted him on the back, lips twitching suspiciously at her husband's _youthful _display.

Kappa grinned at the girl.

"Hey you know, you fight pretty good. If we ever get the chance we should spar sometime."

"It's a deal." Zetsumyou agreed. "I'll beat you next time."

"We'll see." He smirked.

"Man that was a really close win. That match coulda gone either way." Jiraiya remarked to Usagi.

"Heh. Yeah she's pretty tough, I'd like to get a chance to fight her myself."

Than Usagi blinked. "Say? Has anyone seen Tsuru?"

"No. Not since her match anyways." Jiraiya said, looking around.

Jashin sighed.

"She fell asleep on the stairwell."

"How do you know?" Jiraiya asked.

"Because I went to check up on her as soon as the second match started."

His sister blinked.

"You did?"

"You two are so unobservant." He mumbled.

"Whatever." Usagi muttered.

Jiraiya glared at Jashin, who ignored him.

"Ooh! I hope I get to be in the next match!"

"I'll probably get to fight before you do." Usagi smirked.

"Wanna bet on it?" Jiraiya asked.

"Ok." She agreed.

"Ok, if I win you have to go out on a date with me." Jiraiya said.

"I what?!?!" She growled.

"Give it up Jiraiya." Jashin said, eyeing his fuming sister apprehensively.

"Fine." She said tightly. "But if I win, you have to be my personal servant next time your in Sand."

"A date it is then." He responded cheerfully.

"I'll pamper you like the beautiful goddess you are."

"Don't push your luck bub." Said Usagi, who was secretly a little flattered at being called a beautiful goddess, but still ticked off that he would get the upper hand. Unfortunately they both knew she couldn't be TOO mean to him. He was practically family. Hell he was more of a brother than her actual brother. But she'd still kick his ass if he tried anything funny after she won the bet.

They had been so busy talking, they hadn't realized that the next match was about to start until the Waterfall kunoichi shoved rudely past them.

"Hey! What the hell was that for?" Usagi snapped.

Kanja turned around and even Usagi shut up for a moment under the piercing gaze of the intimidating Falls girl.

"You idiots were blocking the stairway and I need to get to my match.

"Ta ta." Said Fukuro, as she followed her down.

"Eh. She'll kick your ass miss prissy! All she needs is a couple of my brother's stink bombs and you'll be out of that arena so fast, the proctor won't even have time to say forfeit." Usagi taunted.

Fukuro looked like she wanted to hit Usagi, instead she turned around and called out.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a reply."

"Too bad ya just did!" Usagi snickered.

"Ooh that girl!" Fukuro hissed savagely. She got on her nerves more then Yugasa did.

**Fukuro Shinchuha vs. Kanja Wakahisa**

At first glance, the two combatants seemed very mismatched. Fukuro had light brown hair styled into a neat little A-Cut around her chin, she was small framed and fine boned and her pale orange eyes gleamed with intelligence. She seemed more like the brainy type. A scroll sat on her back and she carried a few more weapons pouches than was standard.

Kanja on the other hand was a lot taller, not fine-boned and a little more muscular than most girls were, her green eyes swam in a sea of black sclera and she had shoulder- length, tousled, dirty blonde hair. She towered over Fukuro and it seemed she preferred brawn over brains, but on second glance her emerald green eyes were every bit as cunning and she had the look of someone who had killed before and who would easily kill again. Her face was covered by the mask that all the Wakahisa clan wore, but that made her no less menacing to the younger, less experienced Mist kunoichi.

The two of them studied each other for a long moment, then Fukuro's fingers flashed in a set of rapid seals and Kanja was covered in perfect darkness.

The attack came from the left and left Kanja with a sliced arm, than again from the front.

Fukuro smiled, as she pulled out more of her clan's specially made, silent brass knives. Even in the Black Abyss Genjutsu she had cast, she could still see the Falls kunoichi well enough to hit her. This was what the Shinchuha clan was made for, fighting and forging. They were excellent assassins.

Kanja tried to listen hard for the faint whoosh of air that told her what direction the attack would be coming from and was surprised to hear nothing. No matter, she could wait until the arrogant little Mist girl made a mistake.

Even though Mist could appreciate and understand exactly what the two were doing, they were more than a little disgruntled after the fast, brutal pace of the second match and the gut busting hilarity of the first.

For about an hour, Kanja sat there and took the abuse of the chakra enhanced blades and the Genin had gotten bored and talked among themselves.

Fukuro, who was being trained in the ways of the Silent Kill leapt forward on muted feet to finish Kanja off, it might have worked if it weren't for the soggy ground giving her away and Kanja's threads followed after the noise and the darkness lifted with a sickening crunch, which snapped the bored Genin back to attention and revealed the stunned Fukuro laying flat on her back while Kanja watched.

Fukuro eyed Kanja's barely scratched body, her mind just beginning to register the shock of having part of her spine crushed.

"H-how…" She gasped, "You should have been sliced to ribbons by now."

"My clan can harden our bodies, few things can dent our skin. Your little blades didn't do anything."

Tanpopo and Yugasa stared at their teammate, unsure of what happened.

"Fukuro!" Yugasa called.

"Get up Fukuro! Fukuro!" Tanpopo yelled.

"You know," Kanja said as she stared down at Fukuro, "It would be cruel to leave you like this. Unable to even feed yourself, you'd be nothing but a burden to your clan for the rest of your miserable life."

Fukuro grimaced, she understood all too well what Kanja was saying.

"Fortunately for you, I'm in a merciful mood today."

Her hand shot out and grabbed Fukuro by the neck, crushing her wind pipe and killed her.

"And the winner is Kanja Wakahisa."

The bloodlust in the air was tangible as the Bloody Mist roared with approval.

**Authoress:**

**Sorry to end this chapter on such a downer, but Kirigakure likes a healthy dose of carnage with their Chunin Exams and that's totally canon! And whoa! What a wild ride for the first three fantastic rounds in this chapter huh? Luckily, (hopefully) **

**the next set will be just as exciting. And writing Rock Lee was so much fun! **

**C'mon we all know that he'll cheer just as raucously for his two remaining students. **

**Till next chap peeps. XD**


	10. Final Rounds Pt Two

**Chapter Ten**

**Final Rounds Pt. Two**

* * *

Nearly every other Genin took a step back from Tanpopo, suddenly very wary of the blonde pixyish looking girl, who stood there seething with rage. Her fists were clenched and her breathing was harsh and ragged, yet it was the coldness in her eyes that had even her remaining teammate discreetly move to the side, especially when they met the equally green eyes of Kanja, who stared back at her calmly. The chiming of the board caught their attention and two of the Leaf Genin winced when they saw the match-up.

**Tanpopo Mizukusaharano vs. Yasumichi Yuuhi**

Green eyes sought out the unhappy red of Yasumichi Yuuhi's as she began her descent into the arena.

Harusame glanced anxiously at her laid back teammate and Sabiru whined.

"You think so too girl?" She asked the red, wolf hybrid.

Then she turned and murmured in his ear. "I think you should sit this one out, Sabiru says that girl means killing and she doesn't care who it is either."

"You should listen to Harusame." Asami chimed in, fuchsia locks swaying in the early morning breeze. "They've both got a good sense about people."

Yasumichi shook his head,

"I can't back down just because of that, I wouldn't be given that option on the battlefield without good reason." He said wisely, making them frown.

Asami shook her head. "Just promise us you'll be careful than kay?"

"I promise." He said.

On her way down Tanpopo saw that loony Sand girl who had been tormenting them since day one, snoozing blissfully on the stairwell. Needing to let off a little steam before her match began, she kicked her hard in the ribs, taking satisfaction in the startled yelp of pain. Stupid girl, if she was dumb enough to fall asleep in enemy territory than she deserved to get kicked and a whole lot more.

"There are you Tsuru." Jiraiya said.

Tsuru walked up the stairs rubbing her side.

"What's wrong, that Mist boy get in a good shot?" Jashin asked.

"No. That blonde girl kicked me on the way down." She looked sheepish. "I guess that was payback for giving her a hard time."

Usagi looked furious. Jashin and Jiraiya looked disturbed.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"She's upset because I killed her teammate." A cold female voice said from behind her.

Tsuru jumped and blinked at the tall Waterfall girl behind her.

Much to Kanja's annoyance, the rowdy little Sand girl didn't seem intimidated at all.

"Well yeah, anybody would be pretty upset about that." She said.

Kanja and Kappa rolled their eyes.

"So anyway what I miss?" She asked, though her voice was subdued.

"Umm…well, Zets-chan fought that green haired Falls kid and lost and uh Yasumichi's up against that Mist girl who kicked you." Jiraiya muttered.

"Oh." She shifted uncomfortably and turned towards Yugasa.

"Hey, sorry about your teammate." She said,

Yugasa blinked at her in surprise.

"What are you sorry for?" She snapped angrily.

Usagi opened to snap back, but Tsuru shook her head no and peered down at the arena.

Yugasa shook her head. That kid would be lucky to survive, Tanpopo got annoyed pretty easy, but when it came to serious wrongs, whoever ran afoul of her wrath seldom lived to tell about it and Tanpopo and Fukuro had been very close friends. Well, better some Leaf nin she didn't know than fighting her teammate herself. She thought, clutching the hilt of her sword nervously.

Yasumichi took in deep steady breaths to calm himself, though he was feeling shaky inside when he looked into her eyes, she knew he was frightened of her and like a predator that had sensed fear in it's prey, it only seemed to add fuel to her already blazing fire.

He should have taken Harusame's advice, in fact it wasn't too late, but the look on her face warned him that if he forfeited, she'd kill him anyways and they both knew Mist would do nothing to stop it, this wasn't Leaf. Alright, so he'd have to stand and fight and hoped to the Kami he survived.

Tanpopo had a short, boyish, pixie hair cut that was spiked up to keep her bright blonde hair out of her grass green eyes. She came up to just a little under his cheek and her body was slim. His sharp eyes caught the telltale scars of someone who worked a lot with senbon on her fingers.

Tanpopo eyed the black-haired, red-eyed boy with disdain, he was muscular and observant and he looked like the type to keep a cool head. She'd heard about the Yuuhi clan before, they were rumored to be one of the forerunners of the Uchiha clan who had started blending up Hyuuga with the Yuuhi who were genjutsu masters and inherited a mutated version of their red eyes and illusion's abilities.

At any other given time, she would have said he was good looking, but all she wanted was to see someone dead and since she couldn't get at the Falls girl who had killed Fukuro just yet and she would soon, she would kill the Leaf kid first.

Her fingers flew, sending out a spray of senbon that pierced through nothing. Tanpopo blinked. When the hell had this kid had time to create an illusion?

He reappeared next to her and kicked her in the head. Tanpopo sent another flurry of senbon and stuck him with at least half a dozen.

Kakashi sighed with relief as a log appeared in Yasumichi's place.

Three clones charged at Tanpopo and her fist smashed into the first one, than she twisted her body into a round off, flipped over the head of the second clone and kicked the third one behind it. The second clone grabbed her leg and flung her into space, but she twisted her body like a cat and managed to land on all fours.

Vines came out of the ground and it seemed as though Yasumichi came out with them and they wrapped around her.

Hotaru watched the fight with critical eyes. Of the two Genin teams she'd trained, Tanpopo was the one she had to worry about least when her emotions caught hold of her, because the angrier she got the more focused she became in a frighteningly insane way.

She was not happy about the loss of Fukuro, besides being a member of her clan, she had been a tactical genius in the making and had kept the peace between Tanpopo and Yugasa with the grace born of a diplomat, unless they got someone of a similar disposition, her team would fall into chaos and drama.

Tanpopo managed to shake herself loose from the very realistic illusion and moved out of the way as a hand shot up from the ground.

"Headhunter Jutsu huh?" She said. So this guy had an elemental affinity for earth.

Several kunai flew at her and she dodged again. This boy had just made his last mistake. She thought viciously as she began forming seals.

"Mud Clone Release! Dance of the Dandelions!"

All at once seven clones rose from the ground each one holding dozens of senbon that surrounded them like a dandelion puff and released them all at once.

Yasumichi made several clones and illusions on clones to try and dodge them, they poofed away and he forced himself to use Substitution, but there were too many and he tried desperately to block his eyes and his vitals before falling to the ground and landing on his shoulder.

"The winner is Tanpopo Mizukusaharano."

Asami's lip trembled, her teammate looked like a human porcupine. Was he even…she couldn't bear to finish the thought.

Harusame's fists were clenched angrily. Sabiru whimpered and sniffed the air tentatively. She looked relieved and related what she knew to Harusame with pants and whuffs.

"What did she say?" Asami asked.

"He's still alive, but he needs medical assistance ASAP." Harusame said.

Sabiru yipped.

"Look. Your mom is on it." Said Harusame happily.

Yasumichi definitely stands a chance now with mom on the job. Asami thought.

"Your teammate is very smart." Came a smooth male voice next to them. A Waterfall Genin stood beside them, his long turquoise hair falling around his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Asked Harusame.

"My mother and grandmother are both acupressurists. If he had fallen on his back or stomach it would have either killed or paralyzed him. Falling on his shoulder and holding his torso away from the ground was the best thing he could have done."

They smiled at him gratefully.

Crisis averted, nearly all the girls allowed themselves to stare at him in dreamy wonder.

Kappa huffed irritably. "Leave it to Kazuki to walk in and have every girl drooling over him."

Kanja shot him a look.

"What?" He asked. "I'm just as good looking as he is."

"Be quiet, the next match is going to start soon." She told him.

Tanpopo stomped up the stairs, irritated that she hadn't killed him. At least not yet, perhaps there was still a chance and if nothing else she'd messed him up pretty good. He definitely wouldn't be able to do much of anything for a while except lay in bed.

**Usagi vs. Tadashi Nara**

Jiraiya groaned when he saw the names. Not only had he lost the bet, but he had no idea who to cheer for. Should he cheer for his teammate? Or the girl of his dreams? Well, at least he _knew_ that Usagi definitely wouldn't kill him or mess him up for life, cause Tadashi-kun was his teammate and one of his best friends in Leaf and she knew that.

Hidan grinned at Temari.

"Finally. It's about time one of our kids got a chance, but why the hell is she fighting him?"

Temari smiled. It certainly was interesting.

"Maybe it's a family thing."

"Huh?" He asked.

"Shikamaru was my opponent during my first Chunin exams." And now here was her daughter, who much to Temari's dismay wasn't known for using her wits, about to fight someone who used almost nothing but. Under other circumstances, Usagi was likely to lose.

However, she hadn't been expecting her niece to win either, so perhaps Kakuzu had worked some miracles with Usagi. She just hoped that Hidan wouldn't find out about it just yet, because even though she'd _forced him _to smarten up over the years, she was pretty sure he would explode into one of his infamous tantrums in the middle of the exams if he found out just _who _was training his children.

She was also grateful that Shikamaru was too sick to come to the exams this year, because he was bound to recognize her daughter's moves and put two and two together.

Kakuzu sighed, fog or not the Nara kid was the worst possible match-up for Usagi. Jashin would have been a better match now that his Taijutsu was up to par, hell Tsuru would have had a decent chance of beating the kid. All those long lessons and the ex Falls nin had to wonder if any of them had gotten through the girl's thick skull. Well he'd find out soon enough.

Tadashi already knew she was a troublesome-pain-in-the-ass. Why Jiraiya liked her, he didn't know. But he knew he_ did not _like her at all. Just another bully behind a pretty face, he thought rolling his dark blue eyes.

He wasn't sure he could win. There was too much fog which rendered his Shadow Possession jutsu useless and she was a lot stronger than he was and Tadashi had never been very confident of his own abilities anyways. He wasn't his father and he sure as hell wasn't his grandfather.

"Whatcha waitin forFreckles?" She said.

Tadashi snorted.

"You don't call Jiraiya Freckles." He pointed out.

She shrugged. " He's not you."

She unstrapped her scythe and slashed it down on him, forcing him to leap out of the way, she jumped in the air, balled up and kicked him hard, causing him to land on the ground and brought the scythe down towards his head.

Using the scythe for leverage she back flipped and tried to stomp on his arm. He rolled out of her way and she swung the scythe towards his torso. She wasn't gonna kill him or anything since Jiraiya'd never speak to her again, but that didn't mean she couldn't scare the crap out of him.

He blocked the scythe with a kunai and flung a handful of shuriken at her. But she dodged with ease and let out the chain so that her scythe flew and he had to drop to the ground to avoid getting sliced.

"Umm…Tsu-chan. She's not gonna-you know…" Jiraiya trailed off.

"Nah! This is Usagi we're talkin about here." Tsuru reassured him heartily. "Don't worry Raiya-kun, he might get banged up a little, but he'll be fine."

"That's good." Jiraiya nodded.

"Or he'll get banged up a lot." Jashin suggested.

"Yeah that too." Tsuru agreed.

Jiraiya gave him a nervous grin.

Tadashi stuck out a leg and tripped her up and he had to move fast to avoid taking a spill into the now muddy field. Traction was getting iffy and it took a lot more leg power than he would like.

Usagi smirked to herself, she knew it may have looked as though she were attacking randomly, but she had a plan. From what she knew, Tadashi was a shadow user and came from a whole clan of tactical geniuses. All she had to do was keep him on his toes and wear him down with her superior Taijutsu. She knew it wasn't the smartest plan and she knew there was a good chance Tadashi would see right through it, but with the heavy sea fog blocking the sun and his pitiful Taijutsu skills, it seemed like the best course of action.

She twirled the scythe around and butted him hard in the gut, forcing him to backpedal. Then hooked the chain around his leg and left him plopped in the mud.

As soon as he got up, she showed him no mercy and slammed him up against the wall via her scythe.

He struggled to break free, his hand inched towards a kunai and he stabbed her hard in the arm.

She yelped in pain and let go and he kicked her in the shin, then in the face, she went down in pain and he kicked her again in the gut, causing her to gasp and scramble back. When he came after her again she punched him hard in the face, got back up and moved a few feet back to catch her breath before going back on the attack.

Usagi's strategy was basic and obvious to everyone else which caused several people to comment about Sand's lowered standards. But to Temari who only saw her daughter either act first and occasionally think later, or allow Tsuru to do most of the thinking, it was a good step forward.

She rushed him.

Tadashi was getting worn out, his physical skills weren't much and he was beginning to think he should do endurance training with Lee-sensei more often.

Usagi was constantly on the attack, never giving him a moment to breathe let alone think. Plus the sea fog was getting thicker by the minute so there were still no shadows for him to manipulate. He frowned, he would have to take a risky move and create his own shadows with a flash bomb.

The obvious drawback was that if he didn't shield his eyes in time he would be blinded. But it was the only thing he felt he could do, so he took out the flash bomb and at that moment, Tadashi's plan went all to hell because several things happened at once.

The moment the bomb was in his hands, Usagi slipped in a pile of wet sand causing her to fall forward and drive her scythe right into his leg, in his pain and shock his chakra spiked, activating the flash bomb, the audience as a whole covered their eyes and when they looked down at the arena the two Genin were on the ground, groaning in pain.

"Fuck!" Usagi cursed, eyes burning horribly, she already knew she couldn't see. She just hoped it wasn't permanent.

"Fuck!" She growled again, "If you've blinded me permanently Tadashi Nara, I swear I'll kick your ass!"

Tadashi was holding one hand over his eyes and was trying to remove the scythe that had pinned his leg to the ground.

"That'll be pretty hard to do if you're blind." He groaned.

"Oh shut up!" She hissed.

"This match is a draw." They heard the proctor say as footsteps marched in and lifted them onto stretchers.

Hidan groaned.

"Well that didn't go well." Kisame remarked. "Didn't you teach those kids how to use their chakra to stick on slippery surfaces?"

Kakuzu drummed his fingers against the roof in agitation. He hadn't had a lot of time to teach them properly since he'd had to focus on their weaknesses. But all that was out of his hands as soon as the exams were over.

He should have been glad to be freed from those little monsters, but he found himself wondering if he could sneak around as their private sensei. After all the man he was impersonating was a retired clan member, dead actually, not that anyone knew that, and short of conspiring against their home village, retired shinobi could pretty much do as they pleased.

Temari was wondering the same thing, Kakuzu had done a world of good with the girls so far, he was doing things not even Baki-sensei, who was an excellent and well reputed teacher in his own right had done, it was very possible that he was the teacher they needed. After all, she and her brothers had gone through several teachers before they had Baki.

She wondered if there was a way to discreetly work things out, especially considering that she'd found out that she had several long missions which meant a lot of pay, which meant she might be able to convince him to stay a little longer.

"Great! Just great! I just know that Usagi-chan's gonna take it all out on me, just cause I'm his teammate." Jiraiya groaned.

"That's a very accurate assumption." Jashin muttered.

"And what's worse is I lost the stinkin bet!" He pounded his fist on the railing, clearly in agony.

Tsuru's ears perked up.

"Ooh. A bet. What bet?" She asked him.

"Jiraiya bet Usagi that if he fought his match before hers, she would have to go out on a date with him." Jashin supplied.

Tsuru snickered. Wouldn't that have been a disaster?

"Usagi bet him that if she fought before he did, he would have to be her slave either the next time we came to Leaf or he came to Sand."

Not as much of a disaster, but it still had the potential to be one. She thought with a silly grin.

"Geeze Raiya-kun. You based a bet on something as flimsy as that? You totally suck at gambling."

"Do you _have _to add insult to injury?" He growled.

She threw her hands up in a placatory gesture.

"Hey! I'm just sayin!"

He glared at her.

"Ok fine I'll drop it."

Asami watched the spinning names, she desperately hoped she wouldn't be next, but the heavy feeling in her gut, which Kakashi sensei had once told her was her instincts, only got stronger.

**Kazuki Noren vs. Asami Lee**

"Ah damn!" She muttered under her breath.

Harusame gave her a reassuring look.

"Hey! Have a little more confidence in yourself girl. You'll do alright."

"It'll be a pleasure battling you Asami-chan." Said Kazuki smiling at her.

Asami blushed a little.

Up in the stands where he had a decent view of the Genin, Lee scowled.

"Is that suave rogue flirting with my Asami?" He asked in outrage.

"Oh pipe down." Tenten told her teammate. "Besides weren't you always going on about how youthful young love was when we were kids?"

"Uh…err…well…yes." Lee began hesitantly, torn between following the youthful teachings of his still youthful sensei and following his protective fatherly instincts. Were such instincts youthful or unyouthful? He would have to ask Gai-sensei as soon as he got back to Leaf.

Harusame briefly wondered if Kazuki used his charm on female opponents so that he would win.

"Dirty cheater!" She grumbled to herself while admiring the guy from behind. With his turquoise hair and eyes, that nice physique and his serene attitude, she was beginning to think she might not be able to resist him either.

"Begin."

Kazuki was as levelheaded as Asami was jittery.

She dodged an attack as Kazuki moved forward, perfectly balanced, eyes scanning for weaknesses. He came from a merchanting family, his mother and grandmother were both Acupressurists and knew the human body fairly well. He had turned his own hard won knowledge of it to his advantage. Able to strike just the right pressure points to either do his own form of healing, which made him the team medic of sorts, to being able to send an opponent down.

"Calm down Asami." Kakashi murmured, as he watched his other girl do more dodging than actual fighting.

He sighed, she was so much like Sakura was at twelve. Though Asami had already gotten an head start on medical training, even learning how to fight using medical ninjutsu. She just lacked confidence in her battling skills.

Kakashi, presented with a second chance to do better after being stuck on and off with Sakura, Naruto and Sai over the years, paid equal attention to all three of his new subordinates. Particularly since he had the privilege of training a child of one of his former students.

He had worked particularly hard to make sure she was more rounded out then Sakura had been at the time. At least she wasn't a slouch like Yasumichi was, who according to Sakura would definitely make it and be fighting fit in a couple of weeks.

A few jabbed fingers and Asami's arm was loose and floppy.

"How dare he flirt with her and than humiliate her!" Lee howled shaking his fist at the boy.

"Boo! Shame on you! You heartbreaker!"

Tenten slunk down in her seat in embarrassment.

Asami backpedaled, firing up her healing chakra and worked on her arm. Than she tried to kick him, but he dodged swiftly and his fingers came towards her again.

She used a chakra scalpel and slashed his arm.

"Well met Asami-chan."

"Same to you." She smiled.

Keeping her chakra sharp at her fingertips she tried to take in several deep breaths and tried to steady her nerves. Wait, could she really bring herself to try and carve him up? Nope, but she could try and anesthetize him. She let him get close and injected some chakra until he started to droop a little, than he did rapid punches until she was staggering.

Man this guy was tough! She thought unhappily. If only she could lift her arm than she could heal herself-was he healing himself? Oh damn! Wait! What if she could bring the chakra to the area that needed it? It was worth a shot. She began to concentrate, imagining it flowing to certain spots than pushing her actual chakra along. Almost there! She couldn't believe it!

"It worked! It really worked!"

"Ok, now to put this guy down for a nap." She said to herself.

"Way to go Asami! Woo hoo!" Her father yelled.

"What did she do?" Sakura wondered. She had just sat back down to watch the match.

Kazuki had managed to heal himself just enough to reach for a soldier pill.

Kazuki and Asami eyed each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move.

They moved at the same time, she went to punch him in the gut and he blocked it by grabbing her arm, panicking, she twisted away and tried to strike his chest, but he knelt down and she went over his back. At the last moment, she managed to land on her hands and foot and kicked him hard in the chin. Forcing herself to stand upright proved to be a mistake, because he began jabbing her pressure points until she ended up as a crumpled heap on the floor.

"And the winner is Kazuki Noren."


	11. Final Rounds Pt Three

**Chapter Eleven**

**Final Rounds Pt. 3**

**

* * *

****Kotora Momochi vs. Harusame Inuzuka**

Up in the stands, Hinata wrung her hands anxiously. She knew Harusame was a good fighter and that she and Sabiru were exceptionally close and would protect one another no matter what, but that did not mean that she would never stop worrying about any of her children.

Kiba squeezed her arm and grinned. He'd been looking forward to this all day. Next to him, Akatsume was scowling, jealousy written all over his face.

_That should be us down there. _Akatsume thought angrily. Imoto nudged him reassuringly. Next time. She whined. He scratched her ears absentmindedly.

"They'll be just fine Hinata, don't you worry." Kiba told her.

"It'll be really hard for this guy to defeat our little sight hound." Tsume added in a confident tone, as she tried to reassure her nervous daughter-in-law.

Sight Hounds had become the nickname for Hinata Inuzuka. As well as for her offspring, who had both the Byakugan and the keen dog-like sense of smell of the Inuzuka clan and one of the best parts was, that it drove the Hyuuga clan crazy, especially since it was a nickname the Inuzuka had all taken with great pride.

"Yeah and Sakura and Hana are standing by just in case." Kiba added. "Besides, this Momochi kid probably isn't anything special." Kiba drawled.

"And fortunately, unlike her father Harusame doesn't get cocky." Neji pointed out.

He was the only member of the Hyuuga clan who still maintained a relationship with Hinata and her children and had elected to sit with them instead.

"Hey! As I recall you got totally cocky and got your ass kicked by Naruto during our first Chunin Exams!"

Akatsume turned towards Neji with interest.

"Is that true Cousin Neji?"

Neji glared at Kiba and shot back. "As I recall, the same thing happened to you during the Preliminary Rounds."

"Heh heh." Kiba scratched the back of his head in embarrassment and Neji turned around with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Yeah it's true alright," he leaned down, "He could barely move after Naruto was finished with him!"

"I can read lips you know." Neji said.

Hiashi, Hanabi and several other Hyuuga members looked on. But underneath Hiashi's disdain was a grudging, intense curiosity. How would his granddau-Hinata's eldest fare in this fight?

"It's our turn!" Said Harusame excitedly. "C'mon Sabiru!"

She and the red-furred wolf dog leaped down into the arena, because this year Harusame had every intention of making Chunin.

Kotora followed her closely and the two of them faced off, impatient to start the fight. He had black hair and dark brown eyes that were fierce and cunning. He was tall and muscular for his age and he had a hardened look that Harusame lacked. When the proctor told them to begin, he smiled at her and said.

"Let's dance Leaf!" He created a thick fog.

"Stay close Sabiru. We got this." Harusame told her canine partner.

She smiled just a little. This would be like playing hide-and-seek in the fog right? She'd played it blindfold with the other Inuzuka kids to teach her how to track with her nose. Sabiru got first scent and the two split around wide to attack him.

Sabiru padded silently on the left of him and Harusame came in from the right, they waited, they tensed, they charged…right through a water clone. They turned and skidded and Sabiru snarled Harusame picked up a small piece of clothing that had been attached to the clone. This guy was smart.

They again tried to pad through the heavy fog, but the squelching mud, repeatedly doused with water-based jutsu made noise and the occasional puddle splashed beneath their feet and since their was so much moisture in the air, it was hard to put nose to the ground and get a solid scent. As she sloshed through the next one, he came out of the puddle and Harusame's Byakugan activated as he slashed through the air, catching her shoulder and cutting through it, fortunately it didn't go deep and a quick turn made it down the arm instead of severing it.

Kotora leaped into the fog and vanished again, it was going to be a tedious, drawn out game, but he couldn't afford to get too close and he couldn't afford to make mistakes. Sabiru ran towards her, snuffling and whining.

"I'm alright girl." She reassured.

"What do ya see down there Hinata?" Kiba asked.

She activated her Byakugan.

"She got hurt with the sword. But it doesn't look too bad. Haru-chan and Sabiru are trying to pick up his trail, but he's very clever."

Akatsume and Neji activated their Byakugan and so did the members of the Hyuuga clan.

Three clones burst from the fog and Harusame jabbed at them with a kunai, while Sabiru helped by biting them hard. She hadn't learned her mother's technique and she had trouble with the 64 Palms that Cousin Neji was teaching them. Her little brother Hibari was better at Hyuuga clan techniques anyways.

Suddenly, wave after wave of water clones jumped them and she realized that her opponent's intentions were to wear them out and make them jumpy so they'd slip and make a mistake.

"Sabiru! Man Beast Clone!" She called and her beloved friend jumped to her side, together they transformed.

Sabiru gave a soft growl and dashed into the fog, suddenly there was a loud yelp of pain and Harusame saw red.

On all fours she charged Kotora, while her clone picked up Sabiru.

Kotora attacked relentlessly, while Harusame tried to keep his attention away from Sabiru. She kicked him hard, landing on the ground and dealt him a vicious uppercut. He swung with his sword and she ducked, managing to pop back up again and punch his jaw, but the clone disappeared and another one kicked her hard in the gut, then again in the face and flung a few kunai at her dog.

She raced forward, caught a few with her hands a few more in her gut. Now Harusame was pissed! She wanted to rip this guy apart. Her nose led her to the clone in the middle and she tried to kick him.

He moved back and another clone charged forward swinging the sword down, she ducked and rolled out of the way and flung a handful of shuriken, the clone deflected the shuriken with his sword and Harusame rushed forward with a large kunai, he blocked it and another clone of hers rushed under it, taking advantage of the wider movement

A vicious elbow strike to the face dispelled her shadow clone and Kotora rose from one of the puddles on the ground.

Harusame leaped high, jumped on top of the clone's head and ran hell-bent for leather to protect her friend.

That's when she heard a rush of water.

"Rising Water Dragon." A Water Dragon swooped in from behind and caught her in its jaws, lifting her high in the air before exploding.

Sabiru snarled and tore open his arm, dodged the swinging sword and slashed his leg.

Harusame groaned and got up slowly, she'd hit her head pretty hard when she'd fallen down and her back ached. She saw that her clone was fighting by Sabiru's side and that the dog was shaking and had blood splattering her chest. She had to get her out of here!

"Damn mutt! Get out of the way!" He hit her in the head with the flat of his blade.

Sabiru whimpered and tried to scramble away.

Kotora growled as he felt kunai piercing his back and side and Harusame gently picked up her friend.

"I forfeit the match. Sabiru can't fight anymore." She said loudly, struggling to keep the anger and worry out of her voice.

A lot of the shinobi grumbled because the fight was just starting to get good.

She passed the dog to her Aunt Hana.

Kotora felt humiliation and anger surging through him. How dare this weak-ass little Leaf ninja embarrass him this way!

Aika snarled a warning.

Harusame whirled and barely managed to avoid decapitation as the sword slammed into the wall and she used a Substitution Jutsu to avoid her opponent's vicious kick.

"Are you crazy? I told you I forfeit!" She hissed.

"You will not make me look like a fool here." He told her.

The crowd roared in appreciation as Harusame ducked another swipe of the deadly sword. It was lighter then it looked, so his reaction time was a lot faster then it should be.

She reactivated her Byakugan and came at him and he ran up the wall and flipped over her head, then slammed her down, stomping her repeatedly in the face, before she had a chance to get up.

She finally rolled away and started shutting down his chakra until most of the heavy fog was gone and only the natural mist remained.

He managed to overcome the pain and break her hand before she was finished with him.

She crumpled to the ground and Kotora lifted his sword up, he was going to kill her and prove that he was a true ninja of the Bloody Mist.

Cradling her broken hand in her lap, Harusame balled up her good fist and punched him hard in the balls, adding a strong burst of chakra to it.

Kotora let out an agonized howl, went cross-eyed and sat there holding himself, unable to get up at all. The pain was so bad, he wanted to cry.

Harusame managed to stand up and knocked him out with another intense burst of chakra.

"And the winner is Harusame Inuzuka!"

She walked up the stairs, still holding her broken hand.

"That was some fight huh? Only four left." Jiraiya said.

"Yeah." Said Jashin nervously as he watched the panels spinning.

He didn't want to go up against either of the kids from Mist. The girl would probably want to get back at him for all the times Usagi and Tsuru had tormented them and he didn't know what the Mizukage's son was capable of. On the other hand, he didn't want to go up against Jiraiya either. He wondered if _he _could forfeit.

**Jiraiya Uzumaki vs. Jashin**

"Well damn!" Said Naruto when he realized who was up.

"Oh man." Jashin and Jiraiya said in unison.

"It's all good Jashin." Tsuru assured him. "Your not one to hold a grudge-"

"Gee, thanks for the support cousin." Jashin grumbled.

"You didn't let me finish! I was about to say and neither is Jiraiya!"

"Oh thanks Tsuru!" Jiraiya said teasingly.

She stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at both of them.

"Hey! Whoever loses no hard feelings right?" Asked Jiraiya.

"No hard feelings." Agreed Jashin.

"Don't you go easy on me!" Jiraiya warned.

"I won't." He said.

"Promise?"

Jashin restrained a sigh. "I promise."

"Excellent! I won't go easy on you either!" Jiraiya said loudly, giving him a thumbs up.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Jashin muttered under his breath.

They walked down the steps together. The crowd cheered wildly, one demon brat had amused them but they were hoping this demon brat would give them a show worth talking about.

"Hee hee hee hee hee. I got some new tricks up my sleeve Jashin-kun." Jiraiya cackled.

"Good for you." Jashin responded as he took a defensive stance.

Jiraiya rushed forward, mouth curving in a delighted grin as he flung shuriken, which were barely deflected by Jashin, who was getting a little twitchy. He tried to force himself to calm down.

Jiraiya kicked him, forcing Jashin to continuously dash backwards as his friend advanced. Jiraiya leaped and kicked again, Jashin ducked under his arm and Jiraiya tried to punch him, Jashin grabbed his arm and turned him away.

A shadow clone burst from the ground and sent Jashin sailing, he flopped on his back and scrambled up and tried to duck into the mists.

A roaring noise came at him fast and Jashin dropped flat onto the ground as the Phoenix Flower Jutsu barely missed him.

"Woohoo! Go Jiraiya!" Lee called.

Four sets of shuriken came at him from different directions and Jashin used the Substitution Jutsu. A clone tried to uppercut Jashin, but he turned his body in close so that it wouldn't have much of an impact and he sighed.

He had gone back to his old habits of dodging and ducking and the crowd was booing loudly. He was gonna have to throw a punch or something soon. Twisting away, he kicked Jiraiya in the face and then again in the gut and the clones popped out of existence, the air shimmered and Jashin cursed when he realized that he had been fighting a genjutsu.

"Kid needs some confidence or he aint gonna last long." Kisame remarked to Kakuzu.

"Oy Jashiin! I thought you weren't gonna go easy on me." Jiraiya called in a singsong voice.

He tried to get in close, but Jashin caught his fist and punched him hard, then he formed a few signs of his own.

"Scalding Dragon's Breath Jutsu!" And he heated up the mist, while forming it into a painful stream.

Jiraiya roared as burning water splattered on his exposed skin.

"Whoa! When did you learn to do that?" Jiraiya asked, clearly impressed.

"When did he learn to do that?" Hidan asked his wife. He hadn't seen a technique like that since he was a shinobi of Hidden Spring.

She shrugged.

Jashin smiled a little, he'd worked really hard to get that jutsu right.

"I'll tell you later."

"Sweet."

The crowd was getting disgruntled, the opponents were not supposed to be chitchatting like old friends! They were supposed to try and kill each other! This was not what they expected of a demon child or the Kazekage's nephew.

Five clones appeared out of nowhere and mobbed him. Jashin turned his body, and snap kicked one, he put that leg down and crossed his arms, blocking another clone, then he kicked out with his other leg and using a little chakra sent one clone flying. The third punched at his head and he ducked and gave it a powerful shove, which knocked back a fourth clone.

For a moment, Hidan saw double, it was like a weaker, calculated version of Kakuzu's Taijutsu. How dare that bastard undermine his training! He had not been happy that the bastard was training his kids, he was pissed that he taught Jashin to fight like him!

A kunai strike sent the last clone popping out of existence and Jashin took a defensive position.

More hand signs were formed. Jiraiya, like Tsuru had the ability to cast a powerful, psychosomatic genjutsu that let anyone within seeing range see it, and everyone within striking range feel it, whether they were supposed to or not, courtesy of demonic DNA.

Unlike Tsuru, who preferred the flashy and bizarre, he used his genjutsu in surprisingly subtle ways, so that no one could ever tell if the jutsu or weapon they were about to dodge was for real or not.

"Crashing Comet Jutsu!" A small fireball flew from his mouth and plummeted towards him.

Not wanting to find out how well he burned in heavy mist, he flung himself out of range, before it crashed into the ground like a miniature meteor and Jashin was pelted with clods of dirt and pebbles.

Jashin was still unsure if it was real or not.

This gave Jiraiya the opening he was looking for and forming more clones, he charged in for one of his father's signature moves.

"Ji-rai-ya Uzumaki Barrage!"

Clones kicked him up, up and down. When he got up, he spit blood and dirt from his mouth and crouched as Jiraiya jumped down for the KO.

Hidan clapped his hand over his eyes. This was truly humiliating.

"Get the fuck in there and kick his ass Jashin!" He growled under his breath.

Jashin held his position, caught Jiraiya and pushing chakra to his muscles as his sensei had taught him and caught him in what he dubbed, the Whiplash Jutsu.

Jiraiya slammed down face first, was heaved back over Jashin's head and landed on his back, the wind knocked out of him.

Jashin let go, he couldn't hold the jutsu for that long and his arms felt like rubber, he dodged like a rabbit being chased by a dog, trying to get the strength back in his arms and took stock of the situation.

Jiraiya had the advantage of being stronger and faster, he was a fast healer and had a larger chakra reserve and he had no idea how to finish the fight and win anyways. He was really pathetic.

Jashin weaved the water around and whipped him with it.

Jiraiya let out a startled yelp and rubbed his stinging butt.

Jashin let another whip snap on his hand and then his face and he kept forcing him back as he tried to come up with a plan. He was pretty sure he couldn't win this one, but he had to at least act like he was trying. He was so busy trying to keep Jiraiya occupied that he didn't notice two clones forming hand signs till it was too late.

"Hell's Whirlwind Jutsu!" One screamed.

"Kitsune Mindscape: Body-Mind Distortion Jutsu." The second one whispered.

Jashin was gonna kill his sister for teaching him that damn Hula Hips Jutsu.

A fiery cyclone was released and moving both fast and slow, like an old flickering black and white film. It came towards him, at the same time the Body-Mind Distortion made him see things like he had spun around and around till he was dizzy. Things slowed down, every sound seemed like it came from a warped cassette tape and he was stumbling drunkenly.

"Water Shield Jutsu!"

The irregular, poorly made shield only managed to catch the middle of the cyclone and he got badly burned.

Jiraiya darted across the field and his clones followed up with another Uzumaki Barrage, which had Jashin groaning, and unable to cope, made worse by the Body-Mind Distortion. He was done.

The proctor waited a few minutes to see if he was gonna get back up. Strange, he'd never seen anyone's eyes move back and forth like that so quickly. When the pale haired boy refused to leave the arena floor, he made his decision.

"And the winner is Jiraiya Uzumaki!"

Jiraiya helped his friend up and out of the arena.

"Ohh. I feel like I'm gonna puke. I hate that damn jutsu."

What was worse was that he'd figured out a way to end the fight _just now. When it was too late_! Too bad he didn't live in some advanced, civilized country where he could make his own career choices, cause he sucked at being a ninja and he hated it too.

Tsuru caught up with them on the steps as they walked towards the hospital.

"Don't feel bad Jashin, that genjutsu is brutal, it even affects me because it's not completely visual. I know I wouldn't have done much better."

"Hey! What about me?"

"Congrats for kicking ass Jiraiya!

"That's more like it!" He said with a cocky grin. "Let's go see if Sakura-san will heal you up."

"I don't know which of them was more embarrassing." Hidan grumbled as the final set of names flashed on the board.

**Yugasa Kamino vs. Shigeru Kawakiri**

Yugasa and Shigeru walked down.

Yugasa had snow-white hair and deep blue eyes, her face was thin and angular and she possessed a cool grace. She was versed in the arts of healing and her weapon of choice was a spiraling spear-like sword that she could throw at her opponents.

Shigeru had midnight black hair and his eyes were ice blue, a spiked collar was worn around his throat for protection and wore knuckle-dusters. He was the top student at the academy and had already killed several of his classmates off. A promising sign in Mist children.

The two assessed each other coolie. Then a clone rushed Yugasa from either side, she swiveled around with the grace of a dancer and avoided one and the second one collapsed as a puddle of water.

"You know I can sever tendons, make your nerves go haywire and cause your internal organs to stop. It's wise to be cautious." She explained.

Shigeru snorted and shifted his weight, before making hand signs and small bursts of water shot forward, Yugasa nimbly dodged most of them, but some caught her thighs, arms, and back and they sliced her skin.

She began healing herself, but Shigeru wouldn't have that. He created two small water dragons who blasted into her, again she dodged but Shigeru wasn't concerned about that.

He tossed several shuriken this way, catching her off guard. Another two clones attacked but she dispatched them with her spiraling sword.

Then he himself rushed her undercover of the mist and tackled her. A clone he'd sent into hiding picked up her fallen sword as he used his weight to try and pin her, but he suddenly backed away, grimacing. She'd tried to cause massive internal bleeding and there were purple spots blooming from burst vessels.

But no matter, he had the upper hand now, all he had to do was act as though she'd wounded him worse then she had. He backed away pitifully clutching his arm, which hung limply and Yugasa genuinely believed she'd messed him up pretty bad. She rushed forward to finish him off when a clone appeared from the mists in a crouch and rammed her sword through her chest.

She could only stare in shock for a moment, before the life drained from her eyes, blood staining the sandy floor of the arena as the crowd roared it's approval.

Up in the stands Tanpopo closed her eyes. _"You reckless fool." _She thought. _"Sensei always warned you that your overconfidence would get the better of you." _

She was not particularly upset about her death as she was about Fukuro's death. She and Yugasa hated each other, so losing her was not a big deal, other then the fact that medics were rare in Mist.

"Now that the exams have ended we will have a twenty minute intermission to decide this year's Chuunin." The Mizukage said.

People got up to go to the bathroom, get refreshments, visit wounded participants or just stretch their legs while the Kages conferred up in the stands. Hidan left during the intermission, he had business to attend to at the Temple and had only stopped by to watch the final exams. He'd get the results from Temari or the kids later.

After the twenty minutes were over and the stands were full again the Mizukage stood up and called for attention. She was not one for long-winded speeches and cut straight to the point.

"This year's Chuunin are, Shigeru Kawakiri, Tanpopo Mizukusaharano, Kazuki Noren, Kanja Wakahisa and Harusame Inuzuka.

Kiba pumped his fist and jumped up. "Yes! They did it! Akamaru let's go tell Haru-chan the good news!"

People filed out of the stadium and those from other villages went to gather their teammates.

Usagi had been healed, but her eyes would be sensitive to light for a time and she would have to wear sunglasses until then. Jashin was rubbing burn cream on himself and wincing.

Temari caught up with Kakuzu.

"Can we have a word?" She asked. He nodded.

"There was a lot of improvement made in the short time you had and I wanted to see if you were interested in a full time job."

"That might be difficult given your _situation." _Kakuzu stressed delicately.

She smirked. "Give me some time to work out the details."

"Temari?" Gaara walked over, asking silently for an introduction.

"Gaara, this is Yashayama Wakahisa. he was the one who took over the kid's training after Baki's injury."

"Kazekage-sama." Kakuzu said making a slight bow.

"Wakahisa-san."

"Wow! How'd you manage to get Yashayama Wakahisa to train the kids?" Yugure asked, impressed.

_Who the hell was this? _Kakuzu wondered.

"You know him?" Gaara asked his wife.

"Are you kidding? He's a Waterfall legend." _And the one teacher no one wanted to get stuck with. _She thought with a smirk. "He went into retirement a while back."

Kakuzu could see where Tsuru had inherited that grin and he didn't like it, or the brunette.

"Aunty Yugure!" Tsuru called.

"Hey girl!" Yugure grabbed her niece and hugged her.

"You did better then expected in your fight Tsuru." Gaara told his daughter. She beamed at him and he smiled back.

"Well Yashayama sensei helped us out a lot."

"I see." Gaara murmured as Tsuru continued to chatter.

Temari had already paid him today and he was free to leave, but something told him, he'd be seeing the brats again. Kakuzu shook his head, unsure if that's what he wanted or not.

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note**

It was originally supposed to be Jiraiya Uzumaki vs. Yugasa

and Jashin vs. Shigeru Kawakiri, but the idea of a fight between

Jiraiya and Jashin just wouldn't leave me alone.

Anyways, I didn't want to make the kids look like superstars and it didn't come out as good as I'd hoped, but it wasn't bad either.

Now I gotta figure out how Temari will convince

Gaara to let Kakuzu stick around.

Till next time!

Little Kunai


	12. Home Sweet Home

**Chapter 12**

**Home Sweet Home**

* * *

Usagi knew that her mother had to strike while the iron was hot, since she wanted Yashayama sensei to take over their training full time, but she was bored, Jashin was out working with Takeru-san and Tsuru was passed out blissfully on the couch.

So she went to go ask her Aunt Yugure if she would train with her.

"Aunt Yugure?"

"What's up kiddo?" Yugure asked brightly.

"My brother found out he could manipulate water and steam…"

"Uh huh." She said.

"I wanna know if I have-"

"An elemental affinity?"

"Yeah."

Her aunt grinned at her.

"Let's go find out."

As they walked, Usagi wondered what her element could be. Some people said that your personality was an indicator of your element. But she wasn't sure if that was true or not. But if there was truth to it, would that make her a Fire person? She had a fierce temper and her dad could do some fire related jutsu. Ugh. She hoped not, for one thing, she didn't like the idea of being able to use fire, even though she wouldn't admit it, the idea scared her.

Water? There seemed to be a lot of water users running around her these days. Ok, ok so there were only three but, she thought wrinkling her nose, she wanted an element of her own, something to set her apart from them, plus there wasn't enough water in Suna anyways to use to her advantage.

"What's that look on your face for?" Aunt Yugure asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"I hope I'm not aligned with water." Usagi complained.

"Why not?" Yugure asked. It was after all, her element and it was pretty bad-ass if she said so.

"Because," she grumped, "I don't wanna be a part of the Tidal Wave and Teacup Crew."

Yugure laughed. That was an interesting way to describe her niece and nephew.

"Well you can't choose your element, so you better be prepared for whatever you've got."

"Mmm." She agreed.

What about lightning? That would be pretty awesome! Earth would take too much work and that left…wind. That wouldn't be too bad, granted most wind attacks didn't have a lot of variation, but still…her mom made wind jutsu look hardcore. So yeah, here's hopin for wind or lightning.

"First thing's first, we're going to learn how to connect with your element. Some people don't have any elemental affinity at all, some people only have one, some have two, very few have more than that and it's usually through specific clans like the Wakahisa or Uchiha."

She looked at the sun. "Let's start with fire."

Uh oh. Usagi thought.

"Sit down under the sun, close your eyes…meditate. Imagine yourself in a hall of flame, it can't hurt you, just breathe it in…"

Her lulling voice made Usagi sink into the meditation deeper as she tried to connect, she looked at the walls of fire, the oozing lava on the floor, the sun hanging above like a unique light fixture. But she didn't feel anything, nothing at all, she was relieved.

"I didn't feel anything." She said.

"You sure?" Yugure asked.

"I know." Usagi said.

"Ok, let's try it with the earth. This time, visualize chakra roots extending from your feet, push them down, down, down to connect with the earth…"

This time, Usagi imagined herself in the heart of Konoha, with big trees, green everywhere, plants and moss-covered soil, grass, stones…and again nothing, she felt herself even more disconnected with earth then she had with fire. She snapped out of her meditation quickly.

"You need to take more time than that Usagi." Yugure said irritably. "It doesn't take a couple of minutes and boom that's it."

"I know, but I didn't feel connected at all." She grumped.

Yugure sighed.

"Fine we'll try the wind, but this time be a little more patient. If you end the connection to soon, you might _miss out _and it's definitely not something you should be doing just because you don't _want _that element."

"Yeah I know, we can't pick and choose." She said petulantly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Exactly and if wind doesn't work, we'll go back to earth, I hear earth users take a while to connect to their element."

Well that sucks. Usagi thought.

She meditated and for a few minutes…nothing, but then a strong gust of wind whipped around her and she felt the desert's breath moving…through her! It danced and sang in her body, made her light and dizzy and giddy with it's playfulness, she felt like she was trying to reach the ground, but she couldn't quite touch it, like gravity was holding her up, just out of reach. It was amazing! She'd never felt like this before in her life!

Yugure grinned, as she watched her niece get up and swirl and dance with the wind, her chakra responding to the playful eddies and gusts and dust devils that formed and flowed around her.

"This is it!" She said happily. "I'm a wind user! Awesome!"

"More than awesome." Yugure said, "It's very doable, your mom'll be thrilled to pass on her techniques."

"Yeah but I'll have to wait till tomorrow or something." Usagi grumped.

"Yeah but I'm sure you'll still have fun."

Her niece sighed.

"C'mon lets get you guys' home." Yugure said.

"Can Tsuru spend the night Aunty Yugure?"

Yugure shrugged. "If she wants too."

"Cool! Hey Tsu!"

* * *

Meanwhile through confident and well thought out planning and talking to Gaara, Temari had managed to get her most paranoid sibling to agree to "Yashayama-san" taking Baki sensei's place. He had agreed hesitantly. Their position was precarious enough as it was with Hidan, adding another outsider to the mix was bound to eventually tip the scales. But Temari had always been exceptionally cunning and so Kakuzu found himself heading over towards the edges of River Country and to Temari's home.

The kids had all gotten dressed for bed. Jashin was wearing a wife beater and a pair of old black boxers, while the girls were dressed in boxers and spaghetti straps. Tsuru in black, purple and green, Usagi in pink blue and white. Those boxers were a little short on Usagi and showed off her long legs. He was going to get her more modest clothes if it killed him.

"Here." Jashin said. "You might need these."

Kakuzu looked at the earplugs the boy was holding out.

"Or a Walkman." Tsuru chimed in offering her portable tape player.

"And why would I need those?" Kakuzu asked.

The kids all gave each other sly grins.

"Let's just say it gets very loud around here." Jashin explained.

"I can handle loud." Kakuzu informed them, living with Hidan, Deidara and Tobi had insured it. Some of the time.

Jashin shrugged. "Ok." He said, "It's your sanity." And he went to bed.

Tsuru waggled her eyebrows at Usagi and said "Hubba hubba."

"Tsuru you sicko!" Usagi stuffed a pillow over her head and began pummeling her with the other fist.

Both girls ran around, flinging pillows and shrieking with laughter.

That was when Hidan came in dressed in a black silk robe and a pair of boxers.

"Hey!" He barked. "What did I tell you about getting loud in here?"

Kakuzu scoffed. Like he was one to talk.

In response, Usagi threw a pillow and hit her father square in the face.

Kakuzu couldn't help but chuckle. It was small wonder the girls were fearless, when they willingly provoked an S-Class psychopath like Hidan.

"Did you just throw a pillow at me? C'mere you little punks!"

He ran at the troublemaking duo and tackled them to the floor and for a moment there was nothing, but yelling, laughter, ows and grunts.

Tsuru extracted herself from the tangle and kicked back to watch.

Hidan had Usagi pinned.

"Ow! Daddy get off before you pop my boobs!"

"What?" Hidan leapt up, scandalized. "What the hell kind of language is that?"

He kicked his cackling daughter in the ass as she ran upstairs.

"Go to bed! And get some decent clothes on while you're at it!"

He rounded on his niece.

"That goes for you too tanuki freak!"

For a man who had no sense of decency when it came to his own language or behavior, he was a total hypocrite when it came to his daughter's. Kakuzu decided.

* * *

_Five Hours Later…_

* * *

Kakuzu lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. If his eyes were normal, he was sure they'd be bloodshot and he considered sneaking into Jashin's room and stealing a pair of earplugs. When they said that it got loud, he'd assumed something else entirely. He stuffed his head under the pillow to try to rid himself of the sound of the headboard banging against the wall and his former partner's very loud dirty talk.

He got up and walked up the stairs carefully. It turned out that he wasn't the only one awake because he could hear the faint sounds of conversation coming from Usagi's room.

He knocked. The door opened and he blinked.

Usagi had put on an almost too small, studded leather jacket with a neon pink tank top underneath. Both girls wore black leather boots. Tsuru was wearing an eye-watering, acid green midriff top under her mesh shirt and equally hideous leggings under a jean skirt.

Music that had been muffled by a genjutsu was turned off.

Usagi smirked.

Tsuru giggled.

"Well we did try to tell you sensei."

"My batteries went kaput, so we had to blast the music." Tsuru explained, pointing to the now useless Walkman on Usagi's bed.

"Yeah," Usagi grumbled. "Anything's better then listening to _that _half the damn night!"

"Did you come to hang out with us?" Tsuru asked brightly.

He most certainly had not.

"I need earplugs." He told them.

"Then you're shit outta luck! Because I didn't buy any before I left and Jashin's being a selfish jerk." She crossed her arms irritably and yawned.

It looked like his only alternative for the time being was to sit in this room. He just hoped Hidan and Temari didn't come out anytime soon, because the priest would overreact and try to gut him.

The genjutsu covered them and the music began blasting.

"Look at this!" Usagi said, pulling a black leather cap out of bottom drawer and sticking it on her head.

Ugh. Girl talk.

"That's so cool! Where'd you get it?" Tsuru asked.

"I won it off of Merodi in a game of cards."

"Yeah? That must have really pissed her off."

"It sure did. I also won her eye shadow."

"Sweet! What'd you put up?"

And in a move designed to disturb him, Usagi grinned, rummaged under her bed and unrolled a piece of paper.

"My two latest Jounin pin-up posters."

"Isn't that Kakashi Hatake? We saw him at the Chunin Exams!" She squealed.

Usagi sighed.

"Yes and for an older man he is So damn hot! He's even hotter in person. I wish I was eighteen."

Kakuzu glowered at them.

"Who's the other guy?"

"Youkai Iwata from Stone."

"He's way too buff." Tsuru said, making a face.

"What do you have against buff guys?"

"I don't know, it just doesn't appeal to me. What do you have against leaner guys?"

"You don't like lean guys, you like scrawny guys!"

He closed the door behind him. He'd had enough and the loud music was hurting his head. As he walked towards the stairs, he made a mental note to use this as blackmail to get Usagi to obey him more often, because it was likely that Hidan would ransack his daughter's room if he knew she had pin-ups of older Jounin and was hiding make-up and skanky outfits. It was bizarre how _normal _and nearly _civilian _Hidan and Temari's house seemed to be. He'd almost swear he'd walked into a regular family and not a ninja one that was hiding a dangerous criminal.

Jashin had gotten up to go to the bathroom and smirked sleepily at his agitated sensei.

"Earplugs?" He asked.

Kakuzu could hear the laughter in his voice and decided that the boy was more like his father then he let on.

Jashin turned back around and after a few minutes of rummaging, handed his sensei the much needed earplugs.

Kakuzu trudged back down the stairs, lay down on the couch and finally managed to drift off. It had been a very long day and he desperately needed his rest.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 **

**Training Days**

Hidan had woken up for his early morning ritual and when he was done, he sat in bed and stewed. He was pissed! How dare Temari bring that greedy bastard into his house so he could teach his kids! Seriously, it was fucked up! He couldn't kill the bastard cause that would bring unwanted attention. And he'd learned not to bring unwanted attention over the years. But the bastard couldn't interfere with family techniques so he could use that to sabotage him a little.

"Oh children." Hidan called at breakfast.

They all looked up at him.

"When your done stuffing your faces, come outside. We need to have a little talk."

As soon as his back was turned, they all made faces.

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.

Tsuru climbed up the tree and was sitting on her favorite tree branch, Usagi leaned against the wall of the house, arms crossed and pouting. Jashin was leaning against a tree and was getting tenser by the minute.

Finally Hidan came out.

Kakuzu decided to watch and see just what was going on.

"Ok. The Chunin Exams! While I didn't expect you to come out looking like prodigies, I have to know-what the fuck was that? Slipping in the fucking mud? Getting your ass kicked by Jiraiya Uzumaki? Dancing like a drunken monkey on chakra strings? You guys were just-fucking-awful!"

They all flinched and Jashin and Tsuru tried to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible.

Kakuzu glared.

"Jashin! How many times do I have to tell you to man up and deal with a little pain?" He demanded.

"Tsuru! You're the oldest aren't you? Why didn't you help either of them train?"

"Uhh…"

Jashin shot her an apologetic look.

"Usagi you almost had that kid! What happened? Seriously!"

Usagi grit her teeth and stared off into the distance.

"So guess what we're gonna do kiddies? That's right! We're gonna have us a good old fashioned brawl!"

Judging from the looks on Tsuru and Jashin's faces, brawling with him was never fun.

Kakuzu was simply going to watch and wait.

"Oy tanuki brat! That means you too!"

He hacked the branch off and Tsuru fell on her back with a squawk.

"Ok, let's go."

He looked around and barked at Jashin. "Come at me boy! I wanna see what your sensei taught you!"

Jashin did nothing, his eyes narrowed as he assessed the situation.

Hidan attacked.

Jashin dodged the flying blade, slid under it and got behind him. Hidan dodged his attack easily. But Jashin and Tsuru teamed up and made themselves a harder target for him to hit.

"Tsuru!" He growled. "This is training time, not a dance party! Use Taijutsu!"

Now Kakuzu was getting a little pissed. Didn't that fool know that this was her brand of Taijutsu?

"Usagi you asleep on your feet or something? Don't stand there contemplating the mysteries of the universe c'mon!"

Usagi hesitated for a moment before rushing in.

That was the last straw! Once again, Hidan was ruining _everything _Kakuzu had worked hard for.

"Hidan."

They all turned towards his voice.

"Can't you see I'm busy training these kids asshole?" Hidan grumbled.

"You aren't qualified to teach them the alphabet."

The kids snickered.

Hidan turned around to glare at them. The twins shut up.

Temari walked out.

"Hey babes." He grumbled.

"I need to borrow Usagi for training."

"Why?" He asked.

"She's a Wind Elementalist. Didn't you tell him?"

"Nope." Usagi said.

_Not like dad would care anyways. _She thought.

_When did that happen? Hidan wondered._

"Is everyone trying to fuck up my training time today?" He demanded.

"Yes Hidan, it's all a big conspiracy against you." Kakuzu snarked.

"Shut up stitch-face."

_Yes! _Usagi thought. _Saved by mom._

While her brother and cousin were busy with Yashayama sensei, Usagi was enjoying one on one time with her mom. The first things she would need to learn was how to sense the patterns in the wind, so she spent a lot of time meditating and _feeling it. _Day by day, through meditation she began slowly strengthening the bond between her and her element.

After that, her mom would introduce slow gentle, tai chi like exercises to teach her how to move with the wind's gusts. These motions weren't repetitive since the heavy currents around Suna seldom moved the same way, of course it was easier when she could see which way the sand was blowing, but it would take years to become good at it and it would take a while to mold her chakra to get the wind moving on a still day. It was pretty easy for her to learn how to add her own power so that a natural gust could be bent to her will so Usagi was practicing with that. When she wasn't practicing with the wind, her sensei had more common training exercises, he made them practice water and wall walking until they got the hang of it or he drilled them mercilessly on areas they lacked.

One day, his team couldn't help _but _notice the evil look in his eyes…and they didn't like it.

"I'm going to teach all of you a very important skill."

Jashin narrowed his eyes…it was hard to tell with the mask on, but he coulda sworn his sensei was smirking maliciously.

"Since your parents are gone it will save me from having to use an empty cell."

They all blinked stupidly.

Kakuzu promptly beat the hell out of his shell shocked students and when they came to, they found themselves bound to chairs in chakra sealed rope, their weapons were all gone, everything sharp had been removed .

"Any half assed ninja can break out of this easily." Kakuzu called from the other side of the door. "Your mission is to get out of those ropes, grab the key and escape without me detecting you."

He sounded awfully cheerful, in fact they could all hear him chuckling.

"Sadistic old fuck." Usagi growled.

The key was there hanging on a hook on the wall, it had to be booby trapped.

"Hey I think if one of us could get the key, we could find something to cut the rope." Tsuru whispered.

"Yeah but we're all tied up, how the hell are we gonna get the key?" Usagi hissed.

"You're the tallest. You go get it…just…try and walk over with the chair on your back or something kay?"

"I fucking hate you." His sister growled but attempted to get up and hobble over.

Unfortunately she tripped and fell, muffling her cry of pain as she hit the floor face first.

"Ow fuck!"

"Shhh!"

Kakuzu was listening to the whole thing and he couldn't…stop…laughing. He certainly couldn't remember the last time he'd found anything so amusing.

"I can't get up."

"Try turning over."

Usagi turned over and hissed as the chair mashed her wrists. She finally managed to scramble to her feet and after multiple attempts got the key, then she dropped it and had to pick it up with her teeth.

Thump thump …owww!

Kakuzu's laughter doubled as he sat back on the cozy couch. They sounded like a bunch of elephant, how the hell did they expect to get away from him? Hell they couldn't get away from a drunk security guard.

There was more thumping, the clattering of metal on wood and finally the slight creaking of the attic door. Kakuzu was there to meet them in a heart beat, they froze comically, there faces showing varying degrees of horror.

"You failed."

"What the hell?! We escaped didn't we?" Usagi shouted.

"I said you had to escape without me detecting you. Start over."

There was no mistaking the sadistic glee on his face now before he knocked them out cold and retied them. Kakuzu sighed with pleasure, it was going to be a long weekend, good thing he had the kids to keep him entertained.


End file.
